About Sex and Semen Retention

 

About Sex and Semen Retention

Semen retention was mentioned few days ago in one of the discussions. It reminded me of this video of this sifu who has become famous in the internet. Here are my own view and experiences of this matter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vddn_m6_-vI

First of all, semen retention or sexual abstinence is not a requirement for awakening experiences or even full enlightenment (buddhahood). One can have a satisfying sexual life, have orgasms and ejaculate without it having any effect on awakening as it is understood on mahayana and vajrayana buddhism. In excess, however, like anything else, too much sexual activity will cause imbalance, lack of energy and energetical disharmony in the body.

A further point against abstinence from sex is the fact that across history those who refrain from sex, often hoping it to make one holier and purer, have become greatest sexual perverts and abusers. Based on this simple fact it is entirely misleading to say that being sexually active would be harmful or detrimental to one's spiritual or martial life.

One of my spiritual and martial heroes is Yamaoka Tesshu, a famous master of zen buddhism, swordmanship and calligraphy who lived in 19th century Japan. Tesshu was known, not in erratic sense, but he greatly enjoyed partying, drinking and having sex with women. He seemed to have a great appetite for the joys of life, while he was also committed to his spiritual, martial and art practices, as well as his work as an imperial advisor and as a familyman. He is said to have been a huge man with huge energy. I own a collection of Tesshu's calligraphies and can testify that none of his eagerness for drink or sex had a detrimental impact on his calligraphy (where the black ink stores his energy to this date). In fact, his energy is much fuller and more abundant than the works of many monks who assumably were celibates.

When it comes to sex, I have followed Tesshu's example. Since I was a teenager, I have never been a celibate except for one 5-week period, around the age of 30. That I have been sexually active has had no harmful effect on my realisation whatsoever. In fact, being sexually active has made my mind much more relaxed and emotionally balanced than I'd imagine I would have been without. Sex has also been fun (!).

Now, because I have not practiced celibacy and have been a steady ejaculator for the past 30 years, I do not have authority to say that the recommendation to remain a celibate wouldn't have all the benefits the sifu and other sources say. However, I can say is that celibacy, refraining from sex or ejaculations is not necessary for spiritual enlightenment (as it is understood in mahayana buddhism) because it simply isn't. The sifu on the video doesn't give any meaningful definition what he means by enlightenment but what comes to buddhist enlightenment, there is very little or no relation to sexuality at all. Dealing with sexual desire, on the other hand, is important but this is a practice of meditation that has no relation to sex, sex organs or such.

We can surely become fully enlightened beings and great martial artists by having a balanced and healthy life style.

-Kim, 29.8.2021

My Legacy as a Buddhist Teacher

 

My Legacy as a Buddhist Teacher

Today as I was sitting on the train I was thinking about my legacy as a buddhist teacher. Often buddhist teachers and masters they establish center/s in many countries, build stupas, temples or big buddha statues. I love all that but when I was thinking about my legacy, one meaning immediately rose above others: to help great number of my students to attain buddhahood, full enlightenment. When I say great number, I'm thinking of 100 people. I think I will be around for another 50 years so I think this goal can be realistic. If I keep reaching good student material who are ready and fit to face their inner demons without wavering, like many in our sangha now, this will be no problem.

Functionality of the Pemako method isn't a problem either, since the first one is already through. Yes, one of my students has recently attained buddhahood, exhaustion of all phenomena. I've given "weather warnings" about this since late last year and now our students have started finishing their practice.

Hundred of those... 100 mahasiddhas... Centuria mahasiddha...

Yeah, that's the kind of legacy that I want to leave.

-Kim, 23.8.2021

Goals and Goal-orientedness in Pemako buddhist practice

 

Goals and Goal-orientedness in 

Pemako buddhist practice

Every now and then someone sends me a message saying that Pemako practice seems so ”goal-oriented” as if we were aiming for some special experiences. I'll put this into a proper context so that you can understand what goals and goal-orientedness in Pemako means.

In Pemako practice, we have the so called ”bhumi openings” and ”bhumi perfections”. Bhumis (lit. ground) are areas or fields in our mind, i.e. the subtle body made of energy channels and centers, where any kind of awakening/insight/enlightenment experiences happen. The reason we speak of the 13 bhumis in total and purification of the 10 bhumis is because this is a specific way to understand and to apply practices. Because of this knowledge about the subtle body; that there is a chronological continuum from beginning of insight practice (opening of the 1^st bhumi), then consecutive openings (openings of 2^nd to 13^th bhumis), then completion of purification (perfection) of each of these bhumi fields in chronological order from 1 to 10; all this is actually a clear map how it all works. And actually this applies to every type of training system, not only Pemako. So, what we have in the 13 bhumi map is a clear and solid path map from unawakened state to full enlightenment.

As a teacher and founder of Pemako, I put a lot of emphasis on teaching my students about the distinction between self-based mind of confusion and our basic state, or buddhanature. I point this out on all retreats and the reason for that is that practitioners need to know what their buddhanature feels and tastes like. They need to have it pointed out so that they gain confidence quickly. But in our system pointing out instructions given by the teachers is really just a safety valve because our practices enable recognition of the basic state very easily and quickly.

What does all this have to do with bhumis and goals?

If you ask me, there is no other practice in buddhist yoga except to recognise ourselves as fully enlightened, awake and aware beings. In zen, some masters say the same thing that there is no other practice but kensho (lit. seeing one's true nature). The way I teach is that I explain to my students how each technique, be it prayer, mudra, visualisation or anything else makes this recognition happen, so that they know how to do their practice correctly. Not knowing this is, in fact, faulty practice and largely a waste of time.

When with the help of yogic exercises, purposefully and not accidentally, we make our buddhanature appear and its recognition takes place, this is all there is to it in all of buddhist yogas. This moment of the recognition of the basic state is unlike any other kind of experience in all of existence, and that is why the recognition of oneself as a fully awakened buddha has the power to eradicate our self-based existential confusion.

So, what bhumi openings and bhumi perfections are, are moments when our buddhanature shows up and is recognised fully. These bhumi events are so called cessations, widely discussed by all buddhist traditions. Cessation of the mind means that the self-construct that causes confusion and existential pain, ceases to be for some period of time. Even if it lasts for only just few seconds, it leaves a permanent mark in the mind, in other words, a notable bit of the ego-construct becomes untangled and deconstructed. Again, this is what buddhist yoga is all about. This is how we come to know ourselves.

So if we do practice correctly, as a sign of succesful practice, we inevitably have recognitions of the basic state, recognitions of ourselves as buddhas, that is, bhumi events. On the other hand, if our practice and view is incorrect this sign is absent and our basic state remains foreign to us.

So when you hear our sangha members speak about this, they are talking about the signs of correct practice. That's all. This is actually universal not only to all buddhism but to all types of methods. This is because the basic state is the same in all beings, regardless of spiritual or religious denomination or interpretations. You either know yourself or you don't. You are either accumulating first hand experience of your basic state or you aren't.

So on the surface you might think that ”oh those Pemako folks just focus on achieving some momentary goal” but actually we put focus on the correct understanding of practice and then the signs of succesful practice, bhumi events, come automatically.

In us there is perfect purity and freshness, clarity and sobriety. Discover it.

Kim, 9.8.2021

About Readiness and Basic Principles

 

About Readiness and Basic Principles

We start with no confidence at all in who we truly are because we don't know who we are. However, my style of dharma is entirely tied and related to practice, that is, actual recognition of our true being, and in this way we start coming up with confidence little by little. In a year or two your life will change altogether because that recognition becomes stable.

However, to some people, for various reasons it can take longer to stabilise the basic state. Some are not ready when they come to pemako and for this reason they can't really understand how buddhist meditation works and how tantric meditation works. This is a sign of having not enough "merit" which means not being ready, not having realised that the pain is inside or heads and hearts, that it's not anywhere outside. Anyway these students still make some progress, though usually slowly.

If your progress is slow, openings and perfections come slowly, the problem can definitely be found from 1) not understanding the four noble truths and/or 2) not having developed genuine bodhicitta. Of course poor health can make progress slow (or very fast) but that's another topic.

So those who feel like practice is heavy or hard should contemplate the 4 nt's and bodhicitta. If they still don't hit one's heart, then I think it is better to stop practicing because practice will only just make you feel worse by making subconscious negativities and self-based habits come to the surface but if you don't know and cannot practice correctly, you'll just project your negativity to those around you.

People who have this problem don't often realise how much chaotic energy they might be bringing to their teacher, the sangha, their families or even work environments, so this is something we all definitely need to contemplate because not only we might be making ourselves feel like shit with our wrongly directed and motivated practice, but we might be making others feel like shit too, and that obviously misses the mark entirely.

Those practitioners who are ready, have merit, have grasped the meaning of the four noble truths even before hearing about them. I mean that ready students know that the suffering is inside us, in our minds, in our self-delusion, and that spoils life for us. A good practitioner remembers this always and uses all opportunities, day and night, for being and becoming aware of the endless negative and small-minded forms and ways the small self takes. The difference between unripe and ripe practitioner is in this alone: a ripe practitioner uses the self-based stuff for practice while an unripe practitioner thinks that the problem is somewhere outside and so begins the endless complaining and conflict-making. This is the reason why teachers and masters of old didn't take students unless they tested their ripeness. They were very smart to do that because 1 or 2 unripe students in a sangha can create hell of a lot of problems for others.

In a sense, a good practitioner is on guard at all times and especially when the subconscious negativity hits the fan. Together with bodhicitta and understanding of the practice and the path, alertness and vigilance, is the formula that takes us all the way to perfect freedom, unshakable stability and firsthand realisation of the buddhanature. There is no doubt about that.

The secrets are in the basics. Although there are great differences between methods and vehicles, all of dharma is based on the same principles that are shared even by other religions than buddhism. So, all secrects are in the basics.

The reason why the word secret is often used is because for someone who is ignorant of the basic state, the reality of oneself and all things remains a hidden secret. It remains a secret because we are deluded but to undelude ourselves all we need to do is grasp the basics. Knowing the most basic theory and practices from inside out will make you a master, a living buddha, who is a living embodiment of bodhicitta. It is all so simple. 

 

-Kim, 4.8.2021 

The End and The New Beginning

 

The End and The New Beginning

For all my life I've been a spiritual seeker and for all my adult life I've been a spiritual practitioner. I've meditated and done yogic practices about 30 000 hours and taught professionally since late 2008, for almost 13 years now. This project has been a priority and central focus of my life, always basically, and other things including relationships, financial security, other interests like hobbies and other career choices, and even my own family have come second to this. I knew I was making big sacrifices but I had to because I had no choice due to the constant existential pain that I was in. I was suffering of an illness of sorts. It was a struggle from day until night until day, over and over and over.

There is so much, a whole biography packed in the past 42 years. Those who know me closely, my students and close friends know how all this has been both a struggle and a journey of discovering practices and developing a method that has the power to actually smash the self-based confusion no matter how bad it gets. Oh gosh... Looking at it in retrospect, it was a hell of a struggle, loaded with relentless inner and outer obstacles and difficulties.

I feel the need to express how sorry I am for spreading my pain, frustration and anger on others, my students, ex-students, friends, ex-wives and girlfriends. I was in great pain and I could not prevent myself from spitting my poison on others. It was so hard to so many people that I've sworn to never to do what I've done again, in circumstances such as these. I could go on for the rest of the day just talking about the difficulties but that is not why I started writing this little update. Anyhow, I want to apologize.

So, all my life I've been a seeker and for the past 18 years I've been a full time teacher and practitioner. Then came a day when the whole project collapsed because the small self, in all of its expressions, ceased to be. Suffering, the sense of something being off, out of place or murky, stopped. It has been like this for 4 months to date, since my 42^nd birthday. There is so much I have already written and talked about this over the years and of course there are the talks and commentaries from people of history so I'm not going to discuss this in depth here. I actually didn't even mean to write about this publically because I started to write about what I am going to say next but what I'm about to say next wouldn't make sense without saying this.

I've never sat in prison but perhaps I feel now like someone who after a long sentence is taking the first steps in freedom. It seems like a different, foreign and a whole new world, not in a woowoo kind of way but because the meaning of my life has entirely changed. I put my focus and energy into practice for such a long time and now when that is not necessary anymore, suddenly my attention and energy are no longer associated with the search. Therefore it's available for something else. With that comes a discovery of all these other things that life and the world has to offer, many of which I skipped or left without attention before. At 42 years and 4 months of age, it feels like my life has really just started. All the spiritual and existential stuff and meditation I don't need to worry, think or do at all anymore, and bloody hell, the absence of them is like a big empty canvas, suddenly waiting... simply available for something to be expessed.

I think I will continue to teach but I think that the way of it will change. I have established Pemako and taught tantric buddhism for many years but I think I won't teach (much) tantra anymore. I have trained and continue to train teachers who can continue teaching Pemako tantra.

Other than that,I don't know what I'll do... Suddenly my old love, martial arts, have come back into my life but I also feel like I might (finally) go to school and study something. Maybe I'll finally learn fine carpentry or study painting. Maybe I'll do something with animals. I don't know yet but all these options have been in the back of my mind for a long time. I'm just here, eyes and ears open, waiting for the most interesting fish to bite the hook.

I want to wish you all well, and I want to thank you for support and friendship over the years.

Kim, 12.7.2021

Insults from One's Teacher

 

Insults from One's Teacher

This is true but to be clear. Many teachers insult their students to point out their issues to them. I don't do this. If you do your practice, you can't avoid your bananas coming up. True, sometimes people don't realise that they have a dark night or that they are very angry but pointing this out to them is very different from insulting them to have the subconscious stuff come up. I am sure some teachers like this kind of "pointing out", by insulting them and it is good to ask why but I think that if one needs the practice, to solve one's existential problems, then you'll do the practice and persevere it, no matter how rough it gets. If the student is not ready, on the other hand, they'll quit and find some easier practice. That I would have to go into all this and start insulting my students on top of everything else, I don't think would be that helpful and would just be something extra for me, the teacher, to do. I have faith in the Four Noble Truths and our Pemako method.

Kim, 9.7.2021

Buddhanature in Inner Martial Arts

 

Buddhanature in Inner Martial Arts

Oskar: What are these qi gong exercises for? Any spesific yogic purpose I mean? (Comment to this video).

Kim: Hi Oskar⁠. I come from a tradition that combines dharma practice with martial and fine arts. But I realise it is very difficult for me to answer what would be the purpose of it. Well, there are common reasons, like learning to unify the body and to move with a unified body. This alone is a tremendously rewarding learning process and we can all understand what is the benefit of learning how to use and carry our bodies well aligned. You don't learn this from only doing sitting practices, nor you learn it from Western sports. From the purely physical perspective, Alexander technique is somewhat close to what is done in (specifically) Chinese "inner martial arts" but what is done inwardly in Chinese arts, that knowledge is entirely absent in modern sports and forms of exercise whatever they may be. The result of this can be seen how (fit) people carry their bodies, how people jog and so on. There is no inner structure, no inner composition or understanding how the body could be used in optimal fashion.
​
⁠Regarding the internal aspects of what I am doing on the video, I wriote this few days ago: http://openheartopenheart.blogspot.com/2021/07/doing-nothing-just-stand.html
​
⁠What you are seeing on the video is atiyoga from one perspective of mind, while simultaneously using dynamic concentration (active mental pushing while doing the pushing movement). Here from the point of view of mind, the basic state and the action of dynamic concentration (in the form of physical and mental pushing) are of same taste, and not two separate things.
​
⁠Typically active mental pushing, called yi in Chinese, pronounced ee in English (the yi in yiquan, lit. intent), in inner martial arts is practiced just like mindfulness is cultivated by mindfulness practitioners. Mindfulness is always momentary and then you get distracted. Thosewith excellent concentration abilities can remain mindful for as long as they want but this doesn't mean that the basic state would be there as a sort of bedrock. So, to me, merely cultivating active mental pushing (yi) in yiquan momentarily, just like the practice of mindfulness, is incomplete. This is the reason why I spent years in dharma practice stabilising the basic state. Now when it is stabilised, I feel ready and very motivated to give my inner state an external expression, here through this movement. And as you can see there are no “gaps”.
​
⁠To me, all forms of practice have always been about reality and it's expression and this is also of course how Terayama Sensei taught. But even long before that,when I started judo at 7, I wasn't interested about belt colours or competing. It's been a life long haul and now finally, with unshakable confidence, I can focus on inner martial arts and bodywork.
​
⁠I don't know what I can accomplish through this but because I took a vow of trying to bring zen arts to Westerners and people of the world, that is what I will do. 

 

- Kim, 4.7.2021