Qi, Prana, Chakras, Dantiens?

Qi, Prana, Chakras, Dantiens?

J: Babaji, I hope I'm not disturbing. I was wondering in your experience, what the differences are between Qi and Prana as well as the Chakras and Dantiens.When you have time, love to hear your views and experiences.

Baba: Hi J Not disturbing at all, the opposite, always pleasure to chat with friends of the path. Aha, yes. You're discussing about different frequencies and systems of the subtle body. So I'll give it a go

In short, there is frequency and corresponding energy related to nadis and chakras. In all hundreds of thousands of nadis, that creates the aura, there are two different aspects. The inner core of all nadis is always pure and the nadis connect directly with the four dantiens in the gut, heart, head and the two extreme ends of the vertical energy pillar that extends 5-6 meters up and down from the body. The second aspect of nadis is where most of the karma and samskaras are stored. These are stored on the outer layer of all nadis. So, this system consists of nadis, chakras and what in systems influenced by taoism are called dantiens.

Then there is frequency and corresponding energy related to meridians. The meridian field covers the insides of the whole physical body and it is the closest energy body to the physical body and its organs. Meridian field is also grossest of the energy bodies.

When all bits and pieces; chakras, nadis (their outer layers) and meridians are cleaned, they all connect with dantiens (or amrita kshetras) to create a mind that is in its natural state and body that rests in its natural state. Mentally/psychologically nondual and also physically nondual.

If you're interested we just had a chat about this with my heart student. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_TCjJT-Dh0

What are your experiences?

Many blessings,

Baba, 8 April 23

Secret Chakras or 4th Dantien

 

Secret Chakras or 4th Dantien

I have been extremely fortunate to learn about certain chakras that most methods and traditions do not know about. I am talking about the chakras below and above the physical body, as you can see from the pictures attached.

I remember my beloved teacher Sivakami saying that there is a push from the masters in inner realms trying to bring knowledge and practices relating to these centers back to humanity because they have so much positive impact, i.e. because they are spiritually so powerful. I am certain that these centers have been known much more widely in ancient times than they are now.

In buddhism there are "bhumis" or grounds, written in old sutras such as the Avatamsaka and yet there is not a single buddhist lineage that uses them or knows how to use them and it is rare to find a buddhist master ever even mention them. Even though most buddhists don't know about bhumi chakras, just recently the wonderful Garchen Rinpoche clarified their meaning by saying,

"As Milarepa has said: the empty clear mind just becomes increasingly clear as you keep meditating. That's what we call the Bhumis and the paths, the different stages. Even though they're given different names, it's just an increasing becoming clear of your natural state... So this is how the four yogas really are a gradual development of the realization of the mind. So even though we count and list different Bhumis and different paths and there's different teachings on that, this is really how we should see it.

This is also a very important teaching, the most important teaching by Milarepa where he said that the so-called Bhumis and the paths are the progressive realization or recognition of the clear and empty nature of the mind. The Bhumis and the paths are nothing but signs or road signs so you know where to go. You know where you're at. So practitioners need some kind of signs so they know they're on the right track.”

from Garchen Rinpoche's introduction to the Four Yogas of Mahamudra (May 13th 2021), translated by Ina Bieler

In a bit more cryptic manner but still clearly the Secret of the Golden Flower, a taoist-buddhist text from few hundred years ago says,

"The ancients' method of transcending the world, refining away the dregs of darkness to restore pure light, is just a matter of dissolving the lower soul and making the higher soul whole". (2:14)

In taoist terms, the mentioned higher bhumis (that relate directly to the chakras below and above the body) would be called the fourth dantien. I am not that learned about the variety of taoist methods but if I remember correctly the fourth dantien is mentioned and taught by Mantak Chia, famous taoist teacher, although I have not seen it mentioned by others. It is worthy to mention that the formerly buddhist esoteric practitioner Mikao Usui (1865-1926), who discovered and taught reiki, a form of spiritual cultivation and healing included fourth dantien, i.e. the body's external centers in his system. In kriya yoga, a form of internal yoga taught by Mahasiddha Babaji to his Indian student/s that is widely spoken in Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahamsa Yogananda, the heart and soul of the method are these centers. My zen art master Terayama Roshi from Tokyo practiced the 4th dantien daily, both through chi gong and zen calligraphy.

So, from what I have seen over the past decades there are bits and pieces of the fourth dantien or bhumi chakras as we call them in Amrita Mandala method, here and there...

But people should really learn about them because connecting the bodymind with them is like hooking into a source of pure love and pure energetical power that to borrow the words from the Secret of the Golden Flower, "dissolves the lower soul and makes the higher soul whole", i.e. dispels self-centered confusion and habits, and makes the human energy system or psyche whole.

There are all kinds of little secrets and things that would make the path so much easier to lot of people if they only knew about them.

Monsoon blessings,

-Baba, 19 March 23, Amrita Mandala Sangha

Emotions of the Enlightened Mind

 

Emotions of the Enlightened Mind

”Activities that are graceful, heroic, terrifying,

compassionate, furious, arrogant, possessive and

envious all without exception are perfect

forms of pure, self-illuminated wisdom.”

-Sahajayoginicinta, ancient female master of tantric buddhism

The moment I heard this quote, I jumped at joy! It is so spot on! I had never heard other scriptures or authors express this point like Sahajayoginicinta. The vast majority of authors explain how emotions become neutral. I've never seen any other author say how ”furious, arrogant, possessive and envious” emotions, that on the surface sound very samsaric, are expression of ”pure, self-illuminated wisdom”. This statement is really something else!

I didn't grasp this point until I ended my purification process. Before that point I didn't understand how all emotions, including the ones that used to make me contracted around the notion of self, could be self-illuminated wisdom. It sounded wonky and strange! But I see now how a fully enlightened person is emotionally completely free and actually expresses him/herself perfectly in response to prevailing circumstances or arising situations. After all mind phenomena is seen to be without a solid self, a mahasiddha keeps reacting to external circumstances not based on a notion of self but as an appropriate response. Both before and after enlightenment circumstances might be far from ideal and therefore emotions like depression and frustration keep happening both before and after enlightenment but... the difference between the two is great!

I was never attracted by the idea of becoming an etherically smiling buddha who was always fine with everything and never raised his voice. That sort of buddhahood never made sense to me. Perhaps in the perfect world, where the master in question never needs to worry about anything and only has kind and well-behaving people come to meet him, perhaps then it is fitting to have the expression of a peaceful buddha but to me, and I think to most people, that is an utopia.

In the history of vajrayana we have many accounts of wrathful behaviour of mahasiddhas (and this point has also been purposefully taken advantage of by bad teachers). In my experience, the life of a modern mahasiddha is no different.

23.11.2021

Emptiness and Compassion as Means to Attain Full Enlightenment

 

Emptiness and Compassion as Means

to Attain Full Enlightenment

Singh:>I completely agree with your view, before I discovered and more importantly grasped emptiness which is profoundly easy and difficult at the same time navigation seemed like fantasy. I don't have a clue why people don't get it. The Buddhist who are trained and get it, some of the them tend to get dogmatic about it.

Kim: -Another thing that people don't get or miss is the gift of compassion and emptiness combined, as in great vehicle. Buddhists of the small vehicle talk incessantly about anatman and arhathood but few of them realise that arhathood is half way. It is not full and complete. However, I give credit to theravadans because in some styles of it, they actually do become arhats and even if it is not full enlightenment, arhathood is farther than what many mahayanis and vajrayanis attain. I find it curious and strange that this is the case.

-But the thing with cultivating compassion and including all beings in one's motivation, it is revolutional in terms of spiritual practice. You practice for everyone, not just that "I want out and each to their own". Compassion is the katalysator and engine of enlightenment, regardless of religion or doctrine. I've seen some christian contemplatives who have absolutely incredible "bodhicitta". Compassion is the fabric of mature psychology and mature spirituality. That's why it's emphasized in systems that aim for full enlightenment, call it buddhahood or becoming like christ. If one doesn't have such maturity, many selfish habits go unnoticed. This means that for theravada arhats there is a whole world system that is unseen for them but like I said, in buddhist teaching there are also basic problems how compassion is taught and cultivated. The reason why I say all this is because without compassion, emptiness meditation cannot be finished. Without compassion, one will not attain full liberation.

Singh:>I try to transcend dogma, there is no doubt the crystal clear teaching on emptiness are in vajrayana especially dzogchen and mahamudra. 

Kim: -Mahamudra teachings are excellent, especially Gampopa. However, be careful because there are many dzogchen teachers out there who do not understand emptiness, though they can tap into the clarity of basic awareness. Full enlightenment, also known as great perfection includes everything that appears in the mind.

Kim, 11.6.2021

Corona from the Perspective of Tantra

 

Corona from the Perspective of Tantra

According to tantra, epidemics and pandemics are a response by mamo-spirits that are "the main natural forces which may respond to human misconduct and environmental misuse by creating obstacles and disease." https://www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Mamo

Early last year, when the corona hassle started, I took this into meditation and felt the presence of mamos who were full of rage towards the mankind. Looking at what humanity has done on Earth, I don't blame them and understand why they feel that way. Most people would do the same if their and their loved one's lives were repeatedly abused. No doubt we would fight to live. Through this pandemic, mamos are doing the same on behalf of all flora and fauna, and the planet itself. In this way, mamos in the form of the virus, are acting as a medium of karmic retribution. This is the explanation of pandemics given by yogis and master meditators of countless generations from ancient times until today but of course most people are unaware of this as main stream religions and modern worldview is ignorant of such things.

Fransisco Varela said that man behaves like a cancer cell in the human body, destroying his own habitat. This destruction is true both physically as well as psychologically. People live and rule this planet without respect and it is not easy to find people who live in peace and harmony with their surroundings. It is not easy to find people who have pure light in their eyes and love in their hearts. The reality of mass extinction of species and global warming is widely known but too little is done about it because the mind of humanity is fixed elsewhere. From the perspective of sober and selfless mind, it is stunning to see how self-based ignorance of man actually creates such massive negative consequences. To make it worse, in the case of corona pandemic it is dealt by secular specialists and politicians who don't have the full picture and who don't seem to have an idea how to bring this to an end.

To put it in a nutshell, all this would go away if people became less selfish in their thoughts, words and actions because that would re-establish the harmony between him and the surrounding life. Reinstating basic kindness, morality, respect and compassion towards others would make the anger of the mamos melt away. But to be realistic, except in the case of few individuals, this is not going to happen and the natural disasters of great scale will continue to pound on humanity to remind it of its place in the whole. According to Eastern astrology, we will remain in dark times (skt dwapara yuga) for another 2000 years before the vision of reality begins to dawn on humanity. Consequentially I think we will see one massive disaster after the other for many generations to come.

So, what we are seeing is the karma of humanity in play, that is not the business or responsibility of mahasiddhas to intervene with. If you want to do something about it, pray and meditate. Bring goodness and sincerity back into your heart. Become aware of your selfishness and resolve to become a better human being. Think about your everyday choices and make better choices that have less environmental impact. Bless your life, your friends, your family, bless your food and all sentient beings. These are not difficult things to do. It makes no difference which God or gods, or buddhas we believe or don't believe in. The most important thing is to become aware of what we do in our everyday lives.

Kim, 25.3.2021

Pemako – The First School of Western of Vajrayana Buddhism

 

Pemako – The First School of

Western of Vajrayana Buddhism

I went to take a look at the pemakobuddhism.com-website, as I haven't done that in a while. I've been low key with writing and other computer projects for a while so I was surprised to see all these things, like 2PF, bhumi model, few books, RBY, long list of tantric deities, dzogchen metta, trauma therapy, pure land meditations, ceremonies and vows, list of preliminaries etc... so many things!

How in the heck have I done all that!? And when!? It feels weird to think that I've done all that. And there's an international sangha of 70 people from all corners of the world, monthly retreats and so on. Bonkers!

It's been a long road, I can tell you that. It hasn't been easy but when I die, I'll die a happy man without regrets. Since my karma ripened and I connected with dharma practice at the age of 23, I've put everything into it, not holding back, and it has carried me well, like a mother carries her baby. At some point I was asked to teach by my gurus and people who wanted to learn so I started teaching full time in 2008. That's over 12 years ago and I don't know... few hundred courses and retreats ago. It's been a long haul, a long god damn haul... That's what it took to get the first school of Western vajrayana buddhism up and running... That's not too bad.

All this sends me back down the memory lane... All the people I've met, all the silly mistakes I've made, all the childish ideas I had about enlightenment, 3½ years of burnout, thousands and thousands of working hours without pay, all the abuse and ridicule aimed at me, all the laughter and tears with my beloved dharma friends and students, all the heartache and pain, all the release, all those hundreds and hundreds of opened and perfected bhumis! What a ride... What a thunder!

But I fucking did it! I did exactly what was planned before I took voluntary rebirth into this body. I remember the time before my mind attached to the fetus inside my mother's womb. I remember leaving the world of the mahasiddhas, pure lands and subtle planes, where mahasiddhas wished me a good journey. That was 43 years ago. I just turned 42. Oh god, how I miss my home, those pure lands and planes of many eternal friends, masters of the mahasiddha family. Oh, and Mahasiddha Family! That's on the website too!

Earth is a samsaric realm, a war planet as some yogi called it. It's a hell of a place. A ruthless grinder! But I feel proud to say that I've done this work with so many people to give samsara a hell of a fight! That is what we have done and that is what we keep doing at Pemako! I won't have it any other way.

Now, I feel as if I have started my retirement. No doubt, it will be easier, a smooth and enjoyable ride from now on.

Oh, may the perfume of wild rose dharma caress the noses of all sentient beings... May the blessings of the buddha within strike all beings like thousand thunderbolts!

A Ba Hu Mani Peme Hung Hrih

Kim

Long Cessations: How Buddhahood is Actually Attained

 

Long Cessations:

How Buddhahood is Actually Attained

Tomi: "I have started to have full Rigpa moments; yesterday it lasted for two hours."

Kim: Reg. "full rigpa moments". These are long periods of the mind entirely ceased. This is directly experiencing "emptiness of all phenomena", the whole mind from 1st to 10th bhumi empty. I say long because they last much longer than few seconds or minutes. It means literally experiencing oneself as a fully enlightened buddha.

Awakening experiences (bhumi openings) are usually brief. They are like flashes of all lights of a house switched on but it (cessation) lasts only from seconds to few minutes. Despite of the briefness of bhumi openings and perfections, these breakthroughs indicate that the type of practice is correct because despite of their briefness at this stage of practice, cessations are directly seeing one's buddhanature, which is the heart and soul of all dharma and spirituality. There is no dharma other than awakening experiences.

Based on several accounts of our sangha members, this begins to happen roughly around the perfection of 1st-6th bhumis. As you keep perfecting them and have smaller perfecting shifts (for ex. 7.1, 7.2, 7.3) inside major perfections (7,8,9), durations gets longer. For example, let's say from 1-2 hours, to 4-5 hours, to 12 hours, to 24 hours to 48 hours. The longest I've had so far was 60 hours or 2½ days nonstop in August 2020 when I was (still am) working on perfecting the 10th bhumi.

So, when someone has more than six bhumis perfected (and all 13 open), it means that her or his mind is more than 50% purified. In other words, in the mind of such person, one's natural state has become prevalent over self-deluded state, and because of this cessations start getting longer and longer, or in other words, one doesn't only "begin" to see oneself as a buddha but really gets to try living as one. This keeps happening until insight of emptiness penetrates into all bits of the psyche (1-10 bhumis).

So with what Tomi here calls "full rigpa moments", we are talking about not partial, nor short but complete recognitions during which one gets to live, breathe, taste, touch and act as a fully enlightened mahasiddha for hours or days, depending how long it lasts. During these moments we really get to experience how life is for a mahasiddha. Through this experience we really come to know what purity and freshness (suddha/kadag) are. We come to understand why they call it the "great perfection" that is "unexcelled" (anuttara samyak sambodhi). Again, it is very different from brief glimpses... You get to live as a mahasiddha, that's it!

Nine Pemako sangha members so far have told me they've had these lasting anything from an hour to half a day. This indicates that we are approaching buddhahood as a group of individuals in the near future.

We have been reminded again and again by past masters, such as Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche, who said that in his lifetime he met "many men and women" who had attained buddhahood, that it is "not a fable or a fairytale" and that it is possible indeed for people "world over". These words can be found from his book Repeating the Words of the Buddha.

Living grace and guidance of our gurus, Guru Rinpoche and Yeshe Tsogyal; correct view of emptiness that unites samsara and nirvana; correct view of compassion that is equal to all sentient beings; correct application of practices that in the case of Pemako many are unique to our method; committed internal work to make us strong and fearless in the face of hardship; and faith in the teachings of mahasiddhas who've lived before us. That's how we've made it work.

-Kim, 3.3.2021

Reinventing Tantra, Kegan and Pemako Buddhism

 

Reinventing Tantra, Kegan and Pemako Buddhism

From Pemako Buddhist Sangha Facebook group.

Kim: This is probably the best podcast discussion I've ever heard. So much of it strikes directly at what I've been up to as a buddhist teacher and founder of Pemako sangha.

https://soundcloud.com/imperfect-buddha-podcast/100-imperfect-buddha-david-chapman-on-stages-of-maturation-dzogchen-the-future-of-buddhism

Ben: This is brilliant. Being a part of a stage 5 group is what I've been looking for, for so long. This encapsulates so much of that struggle.

Akseli: I might have not even began practicing tantra without Chapman's Vividness stuff. Having not had that many visionary experiences, no visits from deities, etc., the experiential gap would have taken a lot of work to bridge had someone not have already done it!

Kegan's model is enormously interesting in terms of our cultural stuck-upness, but also really helpful for navigating different types of interpersonal conflicts in day-to-day life. Glad to see it mentioned here, too

Kim: I haven't read Chapman in few years and have taken a break of writing projects myself but I've meant to finish what he started with his "Reinventing Tantra" series. I think his foundation is brilliant to build on. To my knowledge, no one has made tantra "current" in the modern world. I was exhilarated to learn and read of Chapman's introduction of this updating and reinvention of tantra but for reasons that he himself mentioned, he didn't finish it. I hope to put in writing what we have been doing in Pemako sangha for over a decade now 　

Listening to that podcast I came to think of couple of aspects in our style of vajra practice that support getting to Kegan's stage 5, that of embodied and enlightened independence in the world of constant change and relationships. Babaji's advice, "Be yourself. Find your own way", really goes a long way and this very point is too rarely expressed and encouraged by training systems. Or maybe that is not the best way to say it but systems (stage 4) are supposed to be toolboxes that can be thrown away after all the tools have been fully utilized and enlightenment/buddhahood reached. In this very purpose most systems fail, considering that vajrayana buddhism is built on the idea of "buddhahood in this life", not in the next, not in 7 or whatever lives from now but this very life... Attaining buddhahood is an anomaly in buddhism, rather than a rule, which actually means that systems (stage 4) fail to do the very task they exist for. For this reason individuals fail to find a way and become who they truly are, i.e. get fully enlightened. I've been talking about this for a decade and have seen how stuck dharma practitioners get with systems (stage 4) by not being able to see past them. They also get offended for wrong reasons and that's why they remain caught by methods, missing the most crucial point of awakening and enlightenment. Very few seems to take bodhicitta really seriously.

So, becoming strong and independent in existential sense is a big one. It is built on recognition of selflessness. In our prayers we chant, "I am the Guru, I'm in the Pure Land, I am the Buddha..." because that-is-it... BUT, this is a post-emptiness view, not pre-emptiness view.

Without the vision of emptiness of phenomena it is futile to even mention strength and independence because it is not about egotripping on childish mind games. In my understanding independence as it has been demonstrated by the spiritual strength of masters such as Padmasambhava, means not only to realize emptiness but also that one's very life force and actions, personal expression, becomes the embodiment of buddhanature. One will not get there without contemplating what Babaji suggests, "Be yourself. Find your own way". The greatest of all empowerments is recognition of ourselves as buddhas. It is an empowerment that we give ourselves but like Chapman and Kegan point out, it is easy (deathly!) to mistake stage 3 for stage 5. Those who preach about already-perfect-dzogchen and advaita without practice and signs of fruition fall into this category.

So, a lot of it has to do with learning to trust our gut and following our intuition. This is a very crucial point but if you start investigating this, no one in buddhism tells you to develop your intuition... Why? Because traditionalists think they have it all already figured out, so all they say is "keep doing the practice" according to whatever syllabus. Just do another retreat or year of practice without real sign of insight, that's what it is for most out there. I know because I've done it and seen it. Methods are believed in so firmly that very few ever begins to ask questions whether anyone is actually getting there. Small signs of succesful practice might be there but still this is far far... from buddhahood. Very few "graduate" as buddhas, in other words lots of folks get trapped in stage 4, stuck in a method, like a bardo of somekind. As a vajrayana practitioner who takes buddhahood in this life seriously I do not believe in the gradual idea that it comes some time in next life or lives. Screw that. If you ain't done with your karmic purification in a maximum of decade of practice, forget it. If we are really talking about buddhahood in this life, OK, bring it and save us from whatever excuses you might come up with.

Buddhism is a vast collection of methods and the vast majority of them is constructed by men. Men are good at mechanics and engineering. We figure out things, so we come up with systems and methods. While this has the benefit of coming up with systems there is other side that is left entirely without care and attention, and that is intuition. If you look at the wider world of yoga and meditation, folks always come up with and market methods, and most of them have a fixed form. This yoga, that yoga, this reiki, that reiki, this meditation, that meditation and so on. Because self-delusion and suffering is in the mind, that is an abstract, nonphysical thing, fixed forms inevitably miss the mark...

Most buddhist practitioners are completely alien to their intuition, this feminine side in them. This applies to both men and women but again... How do we become independent and mature into true characters without intuition? See, graduating of training methods does not directly translate into becoming buddhas, so something is clearly completely off.

I quoted Chapman's tweet recently where he said that tantric (tsalung practices) cannot have a fixed form. There we have it again. Most systems teach fixed forms of tantric practice. This is men giving tantra, that is inherently flowing and fluid, a fixed, solid, frozen form. A complete miss again. Where are the buddhas to prove that this type of approach works? Nowhere. The masculine approach is so one-sided that excellent results don't come.

If we take a master woodworker, that master creates an excellent work of art from any piece of wood you give him/her. There are no excuses and no whining, no dogma and you get exactly what you ask for. When it should be the norm in vajra buddhism that mahasiddha buddhas come like from assembly line, one after the other, we are left with scraps and need to travel here and there to have a glimpse of someone who was someone in past life. Scholarly study, years spent in retreat, performing this or that exercise, receiving many empowerments from many someones, being recognised as someone etc is simply not good enough. We need to realise emptiness(!). And not only emptiness (nirmanakaya buddha) but bliss and light as well (sambhogakaya buddha). If you seriously say buddhahood in this life, there you go. No excuses, no nonsense, no thukdam/samadhi, no bardo. Mahasiddhas play and dance in the body and out the body. Death as a transition is nothing to real yogis.

And that's Kegan's stage 5 in terms of spiritual accomplishment. You really and truly graduate, grow out, from systems, if they are good and taught proficiently! You master them from inside out. This is completely different from merely having performed some techniques for few years... But again, because practically no one teaches tantric students what tantric practices are for and how they cannot have a fixed form, no one gets to meta level and graduates... Then you have people arguing with each other what is and what isn't correct tummo, because one lama taught this and other that. Oh dear. As you know I teach "masterclasses" of all of our practices for this exact purpose. And that is also why there are extraordinary results.

Some trad vajrayana buddhists have also asked me about our vows because we have a very simple set of vows. Well, again, be yourself, find your own way. If we accept vows as something that we "follow" and "avoid breaking", this is a very superficial view of the whole path and ourselves as buddhas. If we have genuine insight, conduct comes accordingly. That's why I think Bodhisattva Vows and Refuge are really everything that is needed. With this view, I hope my students empower themselves through their own experience rather than fill their head with ideas of pure and impure or being a follower of this or that.

About Bhumis and Prejudice

 

About Bhumis and Prejudice

I've taken a long break of bhumi work. I haven't done bhumi analyses for... at least a year. I did so many of them, literally around 5000 during the past several years, so I got fed up and needed a break. Then, this past week I've noticed myself thinking of doing bhumi analyses again and today I thought of publishing a series of bhumi analyses of well known teachers. That didn't go well back in 2016... at all... For those who don't know what happened back then, I'll tell you.

In late Summer of 2016 I published couple of dozen photographs of well known buddhist and other spiritual teachers, all very public figures, with my bhumi analyses according to the Open Heart Bhumi Model. I've discussed this model with great detail in my freely available book What's Next? On Post-Awakening Practice.

I published the photos in my blog each with a bhumi measurement. The series included for example, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, other leaders and Tibetan buddhist teachers, Thich Nhat Hanh, Ramana Maharishi, bunch of zen teachers, theravadans and so on. I'm trying to come up with the most fitting description how my "Bhumi Study Series" was received by the internet. The word that best describes it, is: shitstorm.

I had never witnessed aggressive religious fundamentalism before but I sure witnessed it back then. It came to me as a total surprise. My point of view was that I felt I was trying to make sense of the path and stages of the spiritual path from unawakened state to fully enlightened state, also known as buddhahood. Even though buddhism offers a number of path maps with stages, these are not used by anyone so the whole discussion about shifts or awakening experiences is a completely grey area. Out of many millions of meditators in buddhism, not to mention other systems, few know where they are on the map or whether they even are on the map. I had received this bhumi mapping system (that I've explained in my book) from my gurus, so I knew I had a solution. I was simply trying to help and offer a solution that worked for anyone, regardless of their chosen methods or paths. I really thought I was doing everyone a big favour. Fundamentalists didn't see it that way and a massive shitstorm broke. They hated it and instantly rejected it. In their mind, I had crossed a sacred line and discussed the levels of attainment of their precious gurus. That was something they weren't going to tolerate. It was too much for them so they instantly called it bogus, branded me crazy and banned me from their discussions.

I'm not going to lie and say that it didn't hurt. It hurt a lot. That was real aggression and I got lots of it. Had I been on sight, I'm pretty sure I would have been chased and attacked. At the same time these emotionally charged reactions confirmed to me what I had analysed in my thousands of analyses. Bhumi openings or their closedness, and the degree of purification of mind (i.e. bhumi perfection), is reflected in the actions of men, and since I was treated very meanly, it was and still is an indication that my analyses not only about the various spiritual leaders but also their students, were correct. For some time I tried to have a dialogue with these people, explaining how it worked etc. But as they weren't capable of it, I decided to remove the analyses from my blog and find a hole to lick my wounds.

I still find it hard to believe how and why(!) would anyone be so offended about 1. differences in view which in this case meant that even if attainments are not traditionally openly discussed, they still can be discussed, and 2. things that could be empirically tested, tried and learned. To me, who am a bit of an engineer, it was mind boggling why would anyone get mad about a thorough explanation how it all works... But that was exactly what I didn't understand about the samsaric mind before, at least not well enough, so I stepped right into it...

See, when you've invested all your life into any form of religion or spirituality that you think is going to take you ”all the way”, even if you don't know exactly how and when, and then comes in some bastard who maps your favourite religious leader very low on the spectrum, it can piss people off!!! Because of the time-money-energy-investment and religious belief, very few people who have been following this or that method for many years, are willing to admit that they've wasted their time-money and energy. Samsaric mind, even that of ”practitioners”, gets attached and attachment as dharma teaches us, makes people angry.

I can and do symphatize with that, as I feel I wasted most of my 8½ years of continuous retreat doing practices that were only distantly relevent, or actually not very relevant at all with my wish to get awakened. I wasted my best years because I believed as blindly as so many out there. I thought I was open minded the whole time but really, I was fixated, I was attached, I was a believer... I trusted without the slightest doubt training systems that ”had been passed down in an unbroken lineage since the founder of buddhism to our generation” and taught ”practices that were time tested” and therefore offered very reliable tools. I heard that sales pitch so many times and bought it without questioning... until several years and literally twenty-four-thousand hours of practice later... No, it didn't work as promised... My time-energy-and money was mostly wasted. I was pissed off about that for years myself!

Later when I started to talk about this with others, I met many people who had been disillusioned about the ”tradition” like myself. It was clear that there was something very wrong with how the basics were or weren't taught by the traditions. I say traditions in plural because the same problems exist everywhere. I base this not only on my own bhumi analyses but also in discussions with hundreds of practicioners and many teachers of various incl. Tibetan buddhism, zen, theravada, advaita and so on. It is actually interesting how some come to see the issues or problems in training methods, their teachers, their communities and their culture, while others don't. I think this has a lot to do with readiness or merit as it is commonly known. If you really want the truth, you can't settle for poor answers. A lot of people start with that pure need for knowing the reality but get distracted along the way, usually with all the externals such as forms and rituals, authorisations, hierarchiesand stuff like that, and end up fundamentalists, usually subtly.

So, anyway, that is what happened back in 2016 and that's behind me now. However, now that I've taken a break of bhumi work and feel refreshed about it, I cannot help thinking about the benefits of the 13 Bhumi Model. It is not particular to Pemako Buddhism or me. It is universal. We all have bhumis because we all have the same energy body with channels and centers. We all have bhumi centers that can be perceived. We all have bhumi centers that are either closed or open, and if they are open, they are on their way to be entirely purified, or perfected. Open Heart Bhumi Model is an excellent model, an excellent path map. It matters not what people think about it because it works... And it applies to everyone out there...

I wouldn't want to start another shitstorm but I do wonder how could I represent the bhumi model in a way that is attractive and interesting to people.

Much love and blessings. You are the real deal.

Kim Katami, 23.10.2020

Open Secrets of Tantric Yoga

 

Open Secrets of Tantric Yoga

This is a short note about tantric yoga.

In tantric yoga, there are three aspects of practice: external, internal and secret.

External

External aspect refers to techniques used, such as singing of mantras or prayers, doing visualisations and mudras, or performing breathing exercises. These are all ”ways to come in contact with” but with what? With the internal and secret. External, as the name suggests, is the most external aspect of tantric yoga. Without internal and secret, tantric practice is entirely insufficient. External practice should always be understood as a way to come in contact with the internal and secret because then and then only it serves a purpose.

This can be compared to learning how to use a machine or a gadget, like a smart phone, for example. To be able to make calls with it, send messages or use the social media, we first need to learn what to do, where to go, what to press and what not to press. To use a phone, we need to know the basics to be able to use it. When we know the basics, we no longer need to keep studying the basics. We can make phone calls, send messages and do whatever we like with this simple knowledge. Knowing the technical basics allows us to use our phones in a way that meets with our needs. We might see how our friend uses his phone in a much more technically elaborate way, knows shortcuts and whatnot. Fancy and more evolved tricks can be done but learning of the basics meets with our needs perfectly.

This is a perfect analogy of tantric yoga. In a similar way, we should know from the beginning what is the primary purpose of tantric yoga. That purpose always is to know ourselves without dualistic confusion. This very point, by the way, always without exception, makes the nonphysical bodies of ours, namely awareness and mind, more important than the physical body, in the context of removing self-based delusion.

The way how tantric yoga accomplishes this is through various tantric exercises that are always learned from a valid teacher, often with empowerment. We learn how to pronounce the mantra, the meaning of the mantra, mudras for different mantras, different visualisations, how to use our breath and so on. Some tantric methods, such as Pemako Buddhism, use relatively simple techniques. Our mantras, visualisations, mudras and breathing exercises are all very simple. However, these practices meet with our demand of clarifying the natural state and becoming fully enlightened buddha in this life, perfectly. Some other styles of tantra might use much more elaborate techniques. Simple or elaborate, the main purpose is the same.

For a beginner, who is still learning the basics, lots of repetition is the way. Repeate the mantra a lot so that little by little you become to know or to feel the guru or the deity behind the mantra (without repetition). Through repetition, we learn the basics of tantric yoga. We come to understand the principles, how it all works. It is important to do as many repetitions that is necessary but mere repetition as pastime has no purpose.

External technique should always lead out of the technique, to felt sensation which is the internal aspect of practice. If we keep repeating when there is no need for it, we'll postpone undrstanding and relief coming to us.

Internal

Internal aspect of tantric yoga means to become aware and work with energy and the energy body. External technique is like using a telephone and typing in the number. After typing of the number, you wait for the phone call to be answered. You don't keep typing the number over and over, endlessly and pointlessly. So, after you type the number, guru in guru yoga or deity in deity yoga, picks up the phone. You might have been doing the external practice anything from one second to an hour but eventually you are to stop making the call and shift into receptive and attentive mode. You shift from talking and doing, to being, feeling and receiving. At this point you drop the mantra, the visualisation and so on. You begin to feel the energy of the guru or deity. You feel it with your whole being and take it in. In this way, you unify your whole mind and body that is marked with samsaric traits with the energy or blessing of the tantric practice. Then you simply keep feeling it, you ride the waves of blessings that come to your samsaric body from the perfectly enlightened archetypes of the mind, deities or nonphysical gurus. You take it all in, you feel it in muscles and bones, in your whole body and aura.

When practicing internal tantra, you mingle and blend with the guru or the deity. You unify with it, so that not a trace of your habital self remains. In order to accomplish this, you need to surrender. At least, you need to relax. If you don't relax or are not in receptive mode, you won't notice anything because the blessings stay outside of yourself. Guru yoga is practiced in all major religions by hundreds of millions of people everyday, so you don't need to worry or be afraid. If you can't relax because you're scared or are traumatized by bad human relationships, understand that the guru is not someone who has bad intentions. The sole purpose of gurus is to offer their assistance and help us out from existential pain and trauma. They are healers and liberators, so don't worry. You can take all the time you need to relaxing and opening up, no one forces you. If you have this problem or are simply sceptic, you can simply be curious about it and you'll feel something. If you stay shut, however, the guru cannot and will not force in.

In a way, you could say that you let yourself be embraced and held in the presence of the guru or deity. When you do this it feels magnificient. It is like you're healed and liberated on cellular level. It feels like that because your usual sense of self that is filled with dualistic distortions and habitual mistakes, becomes illuminated and removed, and your true being comes forth.

That is a crucial point to understand, that in tantra, the guru and deities are practiced and worshipped, not for their sake but our own. The meaning is always to know oneself but in tantra because there are seemingly external beings involved, one can be confused if one doesn't understand that it's all done to know oneself, to become fully enlightened, for the sake of all sentient beings.

Guru or deity yoga is a type of transmission or re-establisment of your own completely wakeful being, in the place of your self-based confusions with myriad expressions. Mingling or unifying with guru or deity, reveals our true being and purifies the self-based notions from our subtle body. Mingling with the object of the tantric practice, removes dirt from our system, from the organs (chakras) and channels (nadis) of our subtle body. This takes time and repetition but each session brings a relief because it is so healing, supportive, loving and liberating. Tantric practice is pleasant and joyful by nature.

To be succesful in this, one really needs to understand that tantra is a lot about internal yoga, feeling the guru or deity. External technique is just a way to generate and to come in contact with the internal. For an advanced practitioner, external technique can last only a second and then in an instant she or he shifts to internal.

Depending on one's stage of purification or bhumi perfections in our 13 Bhumi Model, one either,

1. only generates the guru or deity without realising that the guru and deity is oneself as fully liberated being, or

2. generates the guru or deity, while recognising partially that the guru and deity is oneself as fully liberated being, or

3. recognises entirely that the guru and deity is oneself as fully liberated being.

From internal, the domain of the secret is entered.

Secret

Secret aspect of tantra is one's basic nature. This basic nature is lucid and aware in effortless manner. This basic nature that is also the secret aspect of tantra, is effortless natural presence, clear mindedness, sober, fresh and selfless existence. It is without contraction or duality because it is not a thing, or a self. This basic nature is the foundation of all existence. It is the bedrock of goodness and only good things grow out of it, in the form of thoughts, emotions and actions. Because it is entirely good and without contracted selfing, it is a very different kind of existence than samsaric existence. There is no contraction and thinking processes in terms of me and other. Simultaneously it cannot express itself in ways that hurt others. Our basic nature is liberating and the very reason why existential liberation is possible in the first place. Us humans and some other kinds of beings have the opportunity to recognise this basic nature of ours and through doing so, we can change. In this way we can become enlightened, through the process of transformation.

The purpose of yoga is to offer a way, techniques and methods, how self-based contraction can be removed and natural condition of peace, freedom and true selfless joy is re-established. The easiest way this can be accomplished is through tantric yoga, whether in the form of guru yoga or deity yoga. Again, guru or deity is not exercised for any other purpose than our own knowledge.

So, after external and internal comes secret, this basic nature, and in that there is no duality. All dualities such as self and other, or doing and being cease. We enter a world within us where there is no self-based views at all. There is only equalness, that is seen to be the same in everything. There is joy of deepest kind where there is no me claiming or attaching to it. Neither in this natural condition, there is pain or confusion. The whole samsaric engine that spits out sorrow, envy, jealousy, anxiety, depression, hate, panic, nervousness, dullness, fogginess, fear and distortion ceases to exist. In tantric yoga, there is no guru, because you have become the guru and there is no deity because you have become the deity. There is no contracted self or subtle distortions because the samsaric mind no longer exists, it has been released. Tantric practices enable this momentarily and over a long period of time, self-based notions are ground to disappearing dust.

In this way tantric yogas make the natural state or ourselves as buddhas appear. Our mind becomes clear like the sky, fresh like wild mint, joyous like children playing, strong like a lion and caring like a grandmother. This is who we are.

Kim Katami, 1^st October 2020

Pemako Buddhism,

www.pemakobuddhism.com

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Generosity - The Foundation of Mahayana Buddhism by Kim Katami

Generosity - The Foundation of Mahayana Buddhism

I was just talking with my teacher about money and generosity. To me and her, money was always means to do something, not something to accumulate or to hoard because there'd be no point in that for us. I give away money all the time for good purposes, like animal shelters, and people who need it. I am generous because that's who I am and that's who I want to be. I am not rich though and here's the thing: Why are people who have lots of money, so attached to it? It is always people who have lot of money, who are the most stingy. Vice versa, people who don't have so much money, give it away easily without reservations. There are of course exceptions to the rule but in general wealthy people seem to be attached to their money. From the point of view of humanity, this is embarrassing. From the point of view of dharma, this is a major pitfall.

Mahayana & Generosity

The first foundational guideline (paramita) of mahayana buddhism is generosity or dana. Why did the masters who constructed the mahayana buddhist doctrine, set generosity as the basis of mahayana buddhist practice? This clearly suggests that this is something important, though I always find it surprising how little dharma practitioners give thought to it.

Mahayana buddhism teaches that all beings have buddhanature and that it is possible to attain it. In this way mahayana buddhism empowers us by telling and giving us the tools how full enlightenment or buddhahood can be attained and actualised. Mahayana teaches wisdom (prajna) and compassion (karuna) as means to realise our innate wakefulness. Simultaneosly both wisdom and compassion are the two main characteristics of our buddhanature which means that someone who has some or complete first hand experience, is both wise and compassionate in terms of existencial matters. Wisdom means absence or lessening of self-based ignorance and compassion is the lively flowering of that wisdom that cares for others, I would say primarily from the perspective of mind-based suffering (dukkha) but also from the perspective of common suffering, such as poverty and illness.

The opposite of wisdom and compassion is self-based ignorance that only thinks for itself. In ignorant mind there is a lot of energy or power in the "I" thought. This is samsaric mind, which repeats the same thoughts and confusions again and again based on the deeply ingrained belief that there is "I" or "me" and "others". According to buddhism, this is the root of existential confusion that makes life a confusing and unsatisfactory experiece. Thinking in terms of me and other also creates separation and inequality between people. That is not normal or healthy in any way. This is duality and duality is pain.

So, ignorant mind thinks, talks and acts in ways that are selfish and narrow minded, and it is this deeply rooted habit of self-based ignorance that generosity is designed to break. Imagine what happens in a mind that begins to think, talk and act for the welfare of others, rather than oneself. This is the medicine of dharma that uproots our self-belief and removes the gap between me and others, lettin the buddha within to shine through as understanding and love.

Generosity is actually a geniously designed practice because money is related to our basic safety which in turn relates to our root chakra. A wise man knows the difference between real safety and illusory safety. That is really the only difference between someone who is caught up by samsara and who is liberated. Giving money away can change your life. It literally has the power to liberate you.

Vehicles

Vajrayana is the tantric interpretation of mahayana buddhism. Tantra that involves gurus, empowerments, deities, mantras and such, is or should be built on solid understanding of both mahayana and hinayana teaching. In the context of this article - generosity - this means that one cannot reap the promise of vajrayana, which is to attain buddhahood in this life, without the foundation of mahayana. Without genuine care for others - bodhicitta/compassion - one cannot reap the benefits of either mahayana or vajrayana. This downgrades vajrayana into a hinayana practice. It is not bad but it is not how it should be because tantra is not designed for that.

The three vehicles of buddhism: hinayana or small vehicle, mahayana or big vehicle and vajrayana or tantric vehicle, can be compared to woodwork. A carpenter takes a piece of wood that has the potential to be made into a fine work of art. In the beginning it's just a block of wood with bark on it. First, the carpenter makes a sketch of his sculpture on the wood, and begins to work on it with rough tools, like axe and chainsaw. After applying some skill and effort, he manages to make a rough outline of the design that already looks a lot like what the design is about. It is like a Lego-man compared to a fine work done by an Italian master sculptor. This is hinayana. Then the carpenter takes finer tools, like big and small chisels and continues to work with those. After some more applied effort, we really begin to see many details. We can also see a great difference between the former stage and present stage. This is mahayana. Then finally, the carpenter takes out a collection of sandpapers of various roughnesses and continues the work. He keeps working and finally... the finished sculpture looks so beautiful that we are amazed! This is vajrayana. We cannot expect to understand the fineness of vajrayana if we never even tried the foundational practices of mahayana, such as generosity.

The point with this analogy is that all three stages – vehicles – follow each other. Gross, middle and fine are all part of the same process and if any of them is missing the sculpture cannot be finished. This explains perfectly the progression from hinayana to mahayana to vajrayana teaching, and their corresponding practices and levels of insight. Not understanding this progression also explains why practitioners of the higher vehicles sometimes have lesser insight and understanding than those of lower vehicles. If vajrayanis don't have a solid foundation from gross and medium level insight, they cannot possibly understand the subtlety and fineness of vajrayana.

Jesus by Gian Bernini

Readiness

The sole purpose of dharma is removing our self-based views from our subtle nervous system or mind. The meaning of dharma is not in making our lives better, happier or more pleasurable while remaining arrogant and selfish. Committing to a dharma practice necessarily stings a bit but for someone who is fed up with self-created nonsense, this is both necessary and unavoidable. To such a practitioner, the process that gets lighter and easier with every insight and moment of practice. For someone who doesn't understand this and is in it only to make ones self-based life better, dharma is like ripping one's hair off one by one, that is, highly unpleasant. Such practitioners should look into the teachings of hinayana and mahayana because they are not ready or prepared for vajrayana.

Beginning to think about the welfare of those around us is a good place to start.

May you come in contact with the Buddha within,

-Kim Katami, 30.7.2020

*

Pemako Buddhism

www.pemakobuddhism.com

Chris’s Guidance to Awakening, by Lama Karl Eikrem

Chris’s Guidance to Awakening

*This guidance took place over a period of 7 days*

Chris: Hello Lama Karl,

I am writing to inquire about guidance to awakening.

I first heard about the 2PF on Reddit about a year ago via the r/streamentry subreddit. I have been practicing meditation on and off since I was 16 (almost 20 years, now), but more seriously over the past few years. I have some experience in Vipassana, Zen, and Vajrayana traditions and have practiced with a few sanghas but have never formally had a teacher.

Recently I became more interested in the 2PF. I am about half way through reading the Awake! book and have been practicing the 2PF for 30 minutes a day for the last 10 days. I have had some interesting experiences so far and am eager to deepen the practice. I have also listened to Kim's guided meditation on Insight Timer and watched a number of the testimonial videos that are on YouTube.

Please let me know what I will need to do in order to undertake guidance at this time, if such is available.

Thank you.

Karl: Hi Chris,

Good to hear from you. I’d be happy to help you out. It is good that you have many years of practice under your belt, it should make things easier.

We usually recommend people familiarise themselves with the 2pf for about two weeks before starting, but I’m happy to start straight away. Shall we?

Chris: I just completed my morning meditation (30 minutes). This is day 12 of practicing with the 2PF for me, though only 1 session per day up till now. If you are interested, I kept a journal of my experiences so far, which I can send to you, or provide a summary.

Today (as in the past couple of days) I have had a harder time bringing up clear physical sensations in the I-based mode. I am trying to affirm 'I, I, I' quite strongly and with some emotion of frustration or vexation. I have to keep my voice low because I live in a large apartment complex, however, so sometimes it is more like a stage whisper. Currently, the 'I' feels like it is located in or behind the face, especially the eyes and cheeks. It appears to be centered right in between my eyebrows. In fact, over the past couple of days, I have had less and less physical sensations in response to the affirmations. Between the eyebrows, there is a mild feeling of pressure and sometimes tingling. Instead of a tight ball of energy, it feels wispy and diffuse. These sensations are subtle and therefore more difficult to follow. Sometimes I feel a bit of frustration that I am having a hard time with the technique or that more isn't happening. I feel the frustration or impatience in my chest and stomach, but then if I ask myself, "Who is feeling frustrated," it comes back to the point between the eyes.

Karl: Very good. Most people end up between the eyebrows, and it is totally normal that the sensations vary in intensity. The fact that it is getting weaker or more subtle is because you have been peeling the layers off it, just like peeling an onion. Ground yourself properly in the clarity of the I-less mode, so that your sensitivity to the change between the two modes increases. Forget about "more things happening" just work with what it taking place each moment. Everything sounds normal from your description, so there is no need to worry. One last point is that you don't have to say the affirmations out loud. All that matters is that you mean it when you say it. Another trick can be to remember specific memories that trigger the I-sensation strongly. 

Chris: During the I-less mode, I can mostly relax the body, and I have been trying to let my mind just melt into the parts of the body as they relax. I'm not totally sure that I understand the instructions for the I-less mode, or that I am doing it right. I do feel generally relaxed and spacious, but I am not sure I am reaching a true I-less state, because when I ask myself, "Where am I?" the attention will zoom right back to being behind the face. Does that make sense?

Karl: Also normal. Forget about reaching the "true I-less state" and just marinate in the relaxation and spaciousness. Another word for spaciousness is knowingness. Knowingness refers to the fact there there is absolutely no effort involved in feeling the natural sensations of the body. There is no doing there, there is just automatic, spacious knowing. And this knowing is completely natural and ordinary, no fireworks at all. So let go of the "trying" and just marinate in the natural relaxation. And don't bring up the "I", in the middle of the relaxation as that will bring you to the second mode. Take your time, several minutes.  

Chris: In my daily life, I have been feeling pretty good, overall. I am working full-time from home (due to the coronavirus) and just moved into a new apartment, so I have a lot of things on my to-do list, and certainly some stress. But I feel pretty resilient, and have very positive interactions with others. I do notice the 'I' coming up in my daily life, although perhaps more object-I than subject-I. For example, if I get a stressful email at work, I can watch the wave of anxiety rise and fall in my stomach. Or sometimes in work meetings, I notice myself wanting others to perceive me in a positive way.

Karl: Stressful can be good as it gives us an opportunity to study the "I". If anxiety etc comes up, simply trace it back to the root, the subject, what grasps or hangs onto the sensations.  

Chris: Last night I had a strange little experience. I woke up either in a dream (a moment of lucidity) or just after a dream. When I noticed I was conscious, I looked for the 'I' and, for a moment, there was nothing there. I fell back asleep soon after this. This morning, things seem to be normal.

Karl: Sounds like a glimpse to me. Very normal but a good sign indeed. Keep on going!

Chris: Thank you for your feedback. I am doing the 2PF twice per day now for 30 minutes each time. Last night was my first evening session, and I found myself feeling a bit sleepy. I wonder if it would be better for me to do my second meditation right after work/before dinner, rather than before bed? I also wondered if it would be better for me not to drink during the guidance? Normally I have a beer with dinner, and I just want to make sure that will not interfere with my meditation in the evening.

Karl: It doesn't really matter when you practice as long as you stick to the two daily sittings. If you find that you are too tired in the evening, feel free to experiment with a different schedule. As for drinking a beer or two, I don't see that it would be much of a problem in general, but again you have to see if it affects your ability to process. 

Chris: In last night's meditation, I again had only subtle sensations, mostly centred between the eyebrows. I tried your suggestion of bringing up memories related to the self. I ended up bringing up a bunch of memories in rapid succession, including many of the things in my life that were most painful to the 'I.' This intensified the sensations somewhat, but not as much as I expected. Occasionally I still have feelings of tightness around the solar plexus--almost like a band of pressure that goes around my torso, but mostly it is all centred between the eyebrows. 

Karl: Alright. As long as there is something that arises that can be studied, it is not a problem that it is more subtle. Also, if other sensations in the body are stronger than behind the eyes after affirmation, do check them out. Always go to the strongest sensation, regardless of where it is. 

Chris: In the I-less mode, I have been able to notice that there is no self required for sensory perception. As you said, awareness is already effortlessly aware of body sensations, sounds, objects in the visual field, and so on. The self is extra. 

Karl: Very good. You are clearly getting an experience of it. Keep marinating. 

Chris: I also noticed this as I took a walk after work yesterday. For several minutes, I was able to sink into this sense of not needing to do anything or think anything... just kind of allowing life to flow through me. There was a sense of peace, but still on a relative level. My thinking mind was kind of sputtering like an engine low on gas. Also, a few times during the day, I noticed myself thinking about something (my typical inner narrative) while my body was effortlessly executing some task without needing to think about it--like making a cup of tea. It made me realize that all that thinking and narrative is so unnecessary. 

Karl: Good. 

Chris: This morning's meditation was about the same, except with less sleepiness and more clarity. I am trying to really study the sensations between the eyebrows, though without trying to force anything. 

Karl: You are doing great. Just keep grounding yourself in the effortless clarity of the first mode, before bringing that clarity to whatever sensations arise after the affirmation. 

Chris: I am trying to take your advice and really ground myself in the I-less mode before applying myself to the affirmations. I think up till now, I have leaned a little more toward the I-based mode because of my eagerness to study the I and to "finish the job." But I realize the modes are equally important.

Karl: Yes, exactly. It is very common to focus too much on either one, but if you focus too much on the I-based mode you will not have clarity and get lost in identification with what arises. If one focuses too much on the I-less one will not able to weed out the root of the problem. Always both modes. 

Chris: But I realize the modes are equally important. In any case, I'm still not 100% sure I'm doing the I-less mode correctly. When I release a tension in the body, I seem to feel some warmth or vibration, rather than an empty space. I have just been letting my mind feel that, and continuing to move through the body. Sometimes once I've gone through several spots in the body, I do feel a kind of space open up--as if I'm sitting in the middle of a big, dark cavern. It is a generally peaceful and spacious feeling. 

Karl: Spaciousness or openness are just metaphors that specifically convey the lack of contraction, lack of self-hood. We are not necessarily talking about a big empty space (i.e. 3-dimensional space) etc. The warmth and vibration that you describe are perfectly valid descriptions of the I-less mode. Sometimes we can have "deeper" experiences as you describe, but just keep doing what you do without expecting anything. Do the sensations you experience when letting go feel more natural than the tensions? Freer? Check. 

Chris: When I go into the I-based mode, the affirmations are still bringing up quite subtle responses. I'm paying attention to all the body sensations that come up--not just between the eyes. But that is still where I feel it most strongly. The area of the sensations is quite small, about the size of an American quarter-dollar coin. If I had to describe the shape, it feels like a couple of strands of energy that are tied together--like a knot that has already been loosened somewhat--and turning and twisting around in space. The feeling is one of tingling or energy, sometimes a mild pressure. I have been feeling the same sensation come up a few times, walking around in my daily life. It grows stronger the more attention I pay to it.

Karl: If the sensations between the eyes are the strongest after doing the affirmation, then zoom into it and study it as closely as possible. Really get on the inside of it.. Does it have a centre?

Chris: A few times in my sitting meditations, I have noticed my mind wandering a bit. Much less than in other types of meditation I've practiced, but it is still there. Any tips on how to deal with this? I've tried Kim's advice of saying "Ha, ha!" or "Ho, ho!" sharply, and that seems to work at least temporarily.

Karl: The shouting of "Ha's" and "Ho's" is what I usually recommend if the wandering hinders the process. If a few reps don't do the trick, then you can try shouting it rythmically for longer. Like 30 seconds or so. That usually does it. Only use it to cut through to the first mode, though, not when studying the "I". 

Chris: I do notice that my narrative self is still quite active--always telling the story of what I'm doing, what I'm going to do next and so on. It even tries to co-opt awakening, like "Now I'm doing the guidance with Karl... I wonder if the process will work... If I do get awakened, it will be interesting to try the Rainbow Body Yoga, that sounds enjoyable..." and other such stuff. 

Karl: Nevermind, leave it be. Thoughts aren't really a problem when processing the 2PF, unless of course it's buzzing to the point where there is no focus.

Chris: Sorry for the length of my emails--if you have any feedback on how to make my reporting most effective (as well as my meditation), please let me know. Thank you again for your time.

Karl: As long as you are on point, which you are, the longer emails are no problem. Try out the things mentioned above and let me know how it goes. You don't have anything to worry about with regards to how the process is unfolding. Go on!

Chris: Thanks for your advice about the I-less mode, I feel less worried now that I am doing it wrong. I am relaxing the body and mind, and it certainly feels freer and more spacious than the I-based mode. In the I-based mode, when I do the affirmations, the sensations that come up are still centred between the eyes. It is mostly a feeling of pressure, now. On the other hand, I also sometimes feel like "I" am in the space behind the eyes. Is there a distinction between these two phenomena?

Karl: Good to hear about the I-less mode. The I-less mode is the true nature of sensations, of being, so it is hard to "do" it wrong if you simply stop doing so much and relax with what is… As for the "I" behind the eyes, whenever it feels that way, you should investigate it. Try this technique (similar to what you describe that you do in everyday life) when sitting as well.. Like this: 

Recognise the feeling of "me" looking out from behind the eyes. Usually when we look at some object there is a clear direction from behind the eyes and outwards. Notice this clerly. Then trace back along the opposite direction, all the way back to the "root" of seeing, the perceived "seer" in the space behind the eyes. Is there anybody in there? Anything solid? Let me know how it goes. 

Chris: Last night's meditation I was a little tired, but sinking into the I-less mode felt a bit more natural. As I relaxed into the body, there were times when the body felt very large, like it was taking up all the space in my awareness. That was interesting. 

Karl: Sounds good, keep relaxing into it without expectations. 

Chris: This morning, I had a little more trouble with monkey mind; thoughts coming up unrelated to the meditation. I dealt with these with a few 'ha's and 'ho's. Very little sensation coming up in response to the affirmations, so it was hard to investigate. Sometimes when this happens I've been asking, "Who is it that's frustrated?" and that brings me back to the feeling of 'I.' 

Karl: It seems to be a pattern that after very clear experiences like the ones you describe from the night before, the mind will get stirred and become more unruly. Nothing to worry about, just keep cutting through. 

Chris: I have tried the technique of looking behind the eyes, and it's interesting... again, there is just kind of the visual field (or darkness, if I have my eyes closed) and hearing. It feels like there is just a sense of 'presence' back there, but the presence still feels kind of centered in my head. There are very few thoughts when I put my attention there, but it seems to take effort... after a few seconds the seeing process goes back to normal. Maybe I am crossing my eyes a bit too when I do this? It's hard to describe.

Karl: Right. Did you try it with eyes open? I think this technique is easier if you have them open rather than closed. The idea is to see whether there is really something solid there looking out onto the «world» from behind the eyes. I know the feeling of crossing your eyes, but that is not necessary. You trace the direction of seeing back and look at «seer» with you attention rather than your physical eyes. 

Chris: Yes, I have tried this multiple times with my eyes open now... I cannot find anything solid. There is just seeing, hearing, and also a nebulous cloud of physical body sensations. If I repeat I, I, I, while paying attention to this space, it is just a sound. There is a feeling of presence, or of looking from a certain perspective--maybe the sense of self that remains to me is just an optical illusion caused by the position of the eyes in the head/on the body? Or the aggregation of seeing, hearing, and feeling so that it seems like it's all happening in one place? But that is already too theoretical.

My two most recent sits, last night and this morning, I have felt quite sleepy. In the I-less mode, I can sink into the body sensations and being in the moment. I noticed that when the body is aware of itself, hearing feels effortless, too, and I am just kind of letting the moment happen. The I-based mode is not so clear. Sometimes there are mild physical sensations (between the eyes), sometimes there is almost nothing, so that repeating 'I' feels like just making a sound with my mouth and throat, kind of a futile gesture and a little funny or ridiculous.

Karl: Could you take another picture of your face and send it along with the "before" picture so I can have a look at where we are at? Your comment that the "I" is just a sound makes me wonder if awakening might have happened. Is there anything that "sticks" so to speak when doing affirmations? 

Chris: Here you go.

*Photos not published in accordance with the wishes of the participant*

Karl:  I suggest that you take a break from the 2PF and relax for a few days. Notice how you feel in general, meeting other people, doing everyday activities. I’ll message you in a few days to see how you’re doing. OK?

Chris: That sounds like a good idea.

This morning, in my meditation, there was almost nothing that came up in response to the affirmations- it feels like the meaning of the words I, me, and mine has worn out and there is a vague sense that I can't tell who they are referring to. But I wonder if it's just from repeating them so many times, as in Titchener's repetition? When I asked, "Where am I?" and felt into it, there was some pulsing and tingling at the point between the eyes. But it feels more like 'I' am behind that, in the space of the head and the whole body, as a kind of field of sensation. When I look into that though, there is nothing really solid there, no 'self' that I can find, at least as far as I can tell.

However, off of the meditation cushion, I seem to feel normal. I will take a break from the 2PF and let you know how the weekend goes.

Karl: Sorry it took me a while longer than planned to get back to you. How are you doing? How did you feel not doing the 2PF? And have you tried the method again since taking a break? 

Chris: No problem. Thanks for writing back. I've had two weekend days and three workdays to explore and evaluate. Something does feel different. Ever since Friday (at least)... it's difficult to describe, but it feels like the pressure is off. There is a kind of ease. I don't have the pressure to be or do anything in particular. I do still have plenty of thoughts, including self-oriented thoughts, but they don't have the same pull for me--they feel like just a habit playing itself out. I have even had feelings of anxiety in my body (on Monday, we went back to the office after 2.5 months working from home) but they don't bother me as much as usual. Meeting and interacting with people feels quite easy.

I had not meditated since Friday. This morning I did sit for 30 minutes, but not with the 2PF, just sitting and doing nothing. I did notice some energetic activity around my ajna/third eye point during the sit.

Throughout this time, I have had a lot of thoughts like, "Wow, is this really it? Has something really changed? I can't quite put my finger on it." It seems possible that awakening has taken place. At the same time, I do not want to call the game prematurely if I haven't quite got it or if there is still more work to be done with the 2PF. My experience seems similar to some of the stories in the Awake! book, but also lacking some of the fireworks or romance of some of the other stories. Anyway, the truth is more important to me than clinging to any particular state or stage. I am grateful to you for the guidance so far and curious to hear what you think.

Karl: Good. Try the 2PF and let me know how it goes.

Chris: I have tried the 2PF again the last two mornings. In response to the affirmations, there either seems to be no response or some minor energetic activity around the ajna chakra. There is no real sense of tension, discomfort, or stuckness that I can discern. Should I keep practicing the 2PF or leave it alone, at this point?

My everyday life continues to feel oddly problem-free. There is a sense of lightness. However, I do notice that my verbal mind is chattering away as much as before (though the thoughts don't have the same kind of emotional pull, perhaps).

Karl: Yes. It was already evident from your photos that awakening had taken place, though as a policy I don't verify awakening unless the person recognises it themselves. Your description is classic in that it is not something "new" but just something dropping away. That's it. That is awakening. 

As for the remaining existential confusion, in Pemako Buddhism we divide the "selfing mechanism", the identification with passing forms, into three parts: (1) the subject self; the "I", (2) object selves; self-based thoughts, emotions and feelings, and (3) substrate conciousnes; sublte states of dullness of mind. As you have awakened to the truth of the emptiness of the first of these, the path forward will be focused on realisation the empty nature of the rest

If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to ask me.

Chris: That is great news! Haha.

Karl: Yes, it is indeed good news.

Chris: Thank you. I truly appreciate your help in my awakening process. The change feels subtle but significant. I feel like a thorn has been removed from my foot--but one that's been there my whole life.

Karl: You are very welcome. It is wonderful to be in a position able to help other people with this problem of problems. Besides, you were very easy to work with as you did most of the job yourself. Cheers!

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Relevant links:

Awake! Handbook of Awakening (free pdf)

Guidance to Awakening, offered by Pemako Buddhist teachers

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Pemako Buddhism, www.pemakobuddhism.com