Tidying the Place Up
I have been
very patient and democratic leader of this sangha or at least have
tried to be. I have contemplated for years about being a leader,
about Pemako's purpose in this time, about tantra in the modern
world, tantra in the new cultural environment and most of all what
will be the future of it, if it will even have one. Like I wrote at
Teachers' Lounge I have contemplated long about taking the
secularization of Pemako as far as possible but have recently
realized that that is not the way to go and not the way that I want
to lead this ship. To me tantra would lose something essential if it
was made to look and feel like sutra. May sutrics be sutrics and
tantrics be tantrics!
To me the thought that in this period
where tantra is introduced from East to West, tantrics would lose
their external characteristics, is faulty and dreadful because it
does a great disservice to the people and culture around us. External
signs have always been extremely important in dharma but at the
moment in the West, concerningly few Westerners, even dedicated
practitioners and teachers, seem completely unbothered by this. Most
in dharma only dress up their robes and put on other marks for events
inside their centers. They keep their dharma practice secret,
intentionally or unintentionally but regardless this is a major
problem. Considering the fact that this is samsara and that time is
running out from one moment to the next, this is incredibly
shortsighted and in fact stoopid. This is the opposite of being
clever (skt. upaya) and indicates the lack of understanding what is
going on. I am guilty of having thought that way and have wasted
countless precious opportunities myself by not wearing marks.
That's not how it ever was in Asia, nor actually in
christianity. Everyone wears marks of their profession, their
religion, their whatever, and dharma practitioners need to do the
same. I think that dharma is the most important thing in samsara
because it is the only thing that has the power to take beings out of
it and therefore I think the outer marks of practitioners is the most
important of all marks.
In history and at present all over
Asia, to some degree in our christian societies, we recognize
spiritual practitioners *if* and because they carry their external
marks. Without the external signs, the important message of there
being spiritual practices, traditions and their practitioners, goes
entirely unnoticed to people who needs that information. Like I have
told, whenever I wear my robes in public it catches lots of attention
and often people ask me who I am or what do I do. I tell them that I
am a buddhist meditation teacher or something like that. It is stated
in sutras that seeing practitioners (it probably says "seeing
monks in their robes") is extremely fortunate and spiritually
beneficial in many ways, a bit similar to having the sight (skt.
darshan) of a living buddha. The basis and proof for this is as solid
as Mt Kailash.
Finally, I have contemplated the fact that
vajrayana isn't a democracy where everyone gets a vote or has a say
in the matters of a sangha. I have rebelled against this idea and
have deeply questioned it in everything what I have done as a teacher
because as a Westerner I had to and needed to. However during the
past year I have realized that vajrayana cannot and has never been
democratic, and it never will be because it is based on requirements,
empowerments, instructions set by the guru to their students.
Therefore Pemako neither is a democracy. Despite of my
rebelliousness, I have come to see and accept this principle.
This
is the reason why I am tidying up our sangha and the way how things
are set up at the moment. I am making the system clearer because
clearer is always better. It also becomes stricter in some ways
because when things are hanging loosely, things need tightening. I
avoided setting up rules on purpose because I wanted to avoid making
mistakes and people take these things the wrong way but the time has
come for giving this system, the sangha and our soon ordained members
the backbone they need and deserve.
I have spent couple of
decades studying and sorting these things out and I don't change
things without a thorough analysis and insight. I have been leading
this ship for almost 15 years so I know what I am doing. If you wish
to disagree with me, you may do so but as long as you are my student,
in my sangha, practicing and reaping fruit from what I have taught
and empowered you, you will have to accept that certain things are
done in the way that I see best. If you're not OK with that, remember
that you're here because of your own choice and are free to leave any
time.
Before, as a practitioner, yet as a teacher to my
students, I have purposefully avoided the spotlight and referred to
Guru Rinpoche regarding various matters. Like other teachers who are
still on their way, I have said that "it is all because of him"
and in one sense that is right. However, now that I am done with
practice I can say that the whole Pemako project has been 90% my
efforts, and 10% Guru Rinpoche's. Despite of his crucial role in
giving the method a healthy beating heart, as well as being a
mahasiddha bodhisattva whose blessings have been ever available to
us, he has never taught a single course, a retreat, wrote emails,
traveled and so on. I say with love that this has been easy to him
because giving blessings requires zero effort from a mahasiddha. It
is me who has done all this possible and used the energy of my body
to carry and lift the karmic energy of this sangha one retreat after
the other for years and years. It was me who carried you with your
karmic energy on my back all these years and doing so postponed
finishing my own practice. To not give the wrong idea, I consciously
chose to do things this way this time. I wanted to test myself and do
something new and different, and I did. Mixed with other hardships
and difficulties in life, I can say that it was very hard but I don't
regret it. With this, I am simply stating what has been going on
between you and me for the past almost 15 years. I am no longer
turning your attention to Guru Rinpoche. It is time to speak of
things as they are.
KR, 2.4.2022
