Mia's
Experiences with Pemako
Here is the
story of how I found Pemako, slipped away and came back. I share this
hoping that somebody out there can recognise something in my
experience and benefit from it.
Around 2015 I
started to look for a spiritual practice without any previous
meditation experience. I went to a weekend seminar where different
spiritual teachers presented their practices, and there Kim Rinpoche
was the first teacher I took interest in. His approach to awakening
was different from anything I had previously heard so I ended up
contacting him.
Under his
guidance it took me four days to awaken on 20 May 2016. Just before
the first bhumi opened there was a painful moment followed by a
wonderful moment of clarity. The clarity soon wore off but one
significant change remained: I used to be very dependent on going
regularly to the forest in order to deal with overwhelm but after the
1st bhumi opened, much of that dependence was gone. That felt like a
small miracle.
First attempt
with Pemako
Soon
afterwards, in June 2016, I joined Kim Rinpoche´s retreat in
Lapland. My aim was to observe with an open mind the teacher,
teachings and students, and I really liked what I saw. The teachings
felt solid, the sangha friendly and committed and overall, it was a
setting that I felt comfortable with so I decided to give it a try.
Soon afterwards I did Rainbow Body Yoga course in Tromsø, Norway.
However, to my
disappointment, in my everyday life I didn´t have the concentration
to make the practice work for me. I got up in the morning and sat
down as instructed but got lost repeatedly. On paper I understood the
instructions but couldn´t repeat them in my own body in any
meaningful way so I concluded that this is too difficult for me and
gave up.
Attempt with
the Ishayas
Then I turned
to another teaching. The group was called Ishayas, and although their
approach is very different from that of Pemako both have in common
the aim of mind purification. The meditation consists of repeating in
your mind certain very simple techniques, and I was pleased that I
managed to follow their method easily. The benefits this practice
produced for me were that it increased the clarity of my mind and
improved my concentration.
In contrast to
what happened with Pemako, in this case the lack of complexity became
a problem. My questions about energies were always waved off by
referring me to the present moment and asking if there is a problem
to be felt right now. I get the point but I also think that by
completely overlooking the thinking brain we reduce ourselves instead
of elevating ourselves, however good the intention, and over time
that created some frustration for me.
Back to Pemako
In 2020, I
noticed early on that the world was going badly. As the situation
escalated, I fell into a deep crisis. It became clear that
spiritually I wasn´t up to the situation and that with my
complacency I was part of the problem. So from trusting that
spiritually I´m fine and I have all the time in the world I moved
rapidly to feeling the exact opposite; I was far from where I should
be and had no time to lose. In my distress, I somehow remembered
Pemako again. The fact that Pemako had a clear path forward and a
proper theoretical framework suddenly felt very appealing.
In May 2020 I
joined Pemako´s online retreat and encouraged by the good experience
decided to give it a second chance. This time round I had no problem
following the instructions by myself. Rainbowbody yoga felt much more
accessible. Also my desperation certainly helped, as did the fact
that now I was technologically much better off than in 2016. Back
then I didn´t have internet at home, neither did I have a
smartphone, so I depended heavily on written instructions – sounds
like ancient history but this is how it was.
In a short
period of time, Rainbowbody Yoga has proved to be hugely
transformative. I noticed it as soon as I started with the exercises
addressing imprints stored in the limbs. In the year or so that
followed, I went through some rough times, so called dark nights. In
my case these moments took literally place in the night: I was
neither asleep nor awake and all night long distressing thoughts ran
through my mind and made my body shake. It was like having a high
fever without physically having temperature. Still I took some weird
pleasure in these difficult nights because from the experience of
other sangha members I knew this meant things were moving forward.
I´m writing
this in May 2022, and this is what I have gained since I started
practicing the Pemako method in July 2020:
Free flow of
emotions. Instead of looking for pleasant emotions and running away
from painful emotions, I now welcome all emotions more freely. This
is a huge change that I can´t emphasize enough. I still have
automatic patterns that need to be cleared (such as anticipating
other people´s feelings and trying to raise their mood already
before they lash out at me) but at least I´m aware of them. I´m not
nearly as constricted as I used to be.
More love.
Love and understanding comes much more naturally than two years ago.
Also this is a big change and liberating in itself. Many behaviours
that used to trigger me don´t trigger me anymore. I react to them
with neutrality or even mild love, which even I myself am surprised
at.
More courage
and integrity. One of the aims I stated to myself when rejoining
Pemako was to gain more courage and integrity in order to change my
life, and little by little I have managed to do this. It´s an
ongoing process but now I am a different person than I was two years
ago and also my circumstances are different.
I´m deeply
grateful to Kim Rinpoche for making all of this possible for us. How
many teachings would produce similar results in a similar timeframe?!
I hope the Pemako teachings will spread far and wide so that as many
people as possible can enjoy them, for the benefit of all beings.
Written by Mia from Brussels, Belgium