Abuse and Trauma in Buddhism

 

Abuse and Trauma in Buddhism

Few days ago I was discussing “crazy wisdom” and abuse in buddhism with a friend who wasn’t aware how typical it is and how bad in many cases it has been. I’ve contemplated it since, like I have for many years.

Over the years I have corresponded with a number of victims and survivors of abuse by buddhist teachers, as well as been a member of Association of Victims of Religious Abuse (Uskontojen Uhrit ry) in Finland since the mid 90’s, so I have pretty good idea about the whole thing.

Having been bullied in school myself and having had to live under a threat of violence and verbal abuse for most part of 3 years in higher elementary school, I’ve been sensitive of abusive behaviour. Then when during my practice of dharma, I was verbally abused and publicly shamed by an Indian guru, I’ve become disillusioned about “lineage holders”. After that I started seeing many things in a different light but never doubted the dharma itself, though many victims of abuse do.

It’s a shitty world where samsaric people, some of them lineage holders, do shitty things to each other. These actions have harmful karmic consequences for all involved and in fact harms the reputation of dharma. Some bad gurus think they are enlightened enough, forget about ethics and re-write the rules. They rise high and fall hard in shame, leaving a trail of hurt and devastated disciples some of who never heal of their trauma and who cut their ties to dharma. I think that teachers who intentionally destroy the hearts of their followers are the lowest of the low. They are scum and there is no excuse.

All yoga and dharma should begin and end with the fact that all beings have pure wakeful nature, and that the whole path is about discovering it and the students getting empowered through that. There is no place of giving away of one’s power and independence or worship of guru’s personality in dharma. From the beginning until the end it is a path of self-discovery and accumulation of self-knowledge, helped and supported by a method of practice, and by the community and one’s teacher. To me, both as a student and a teacher, there is nothing more sacred than this.

But to remind how bad things can get, once again, here is the letter long term students sent to Sogyal back in 2017. Since then, Sogyal was widely critisized by various lamas, even by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and was forced to resign from his organisation. He passed away a year or so later due to cancer, or so they said. There are rumours about the way he died.

Have a nice day. Let’s keep it real and honest,

-KR, 21.1.2022

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjRl7SkyML1AhWJrYsKHVl6CvEQFnoECAgQAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.lionsroar.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2017%2F07%2FLetter-to-Sogyal-Lakar-14-06-2017-.pdf&usg=AOvVaw1MIVQUbgrbfaMfkkOMfKko

Standing One's Ground and Abusive Relationships

 

Standing One's Ground

and Abusive Relationships

Hi Jan. It is like Trev said that some periods in practice may not have noticeable shifts happening but still there is gradual maturation taking place. Sooner or later, shifts start happening again. I would also like to point out that opening 8 bhumis is a rarity in the world of yoga. You can't find that many people in the whole world who have such depth, even if from 8 openings there is still some way to perfecting all ten. Let's not forget the big picture here 　

When it comes to disrespectful and/or abusive behaviour in relationship, I don't have any sympathies for that. Stand your ground. Don't let anyone tell you're worthless. Don't let anyone take away your power, take you granted or treat you like a piece of shit. I was a very angry person, sometimes mean, in my first marriage and my wife split because of that. She did the right thing but at the time I was shred to pieces because I was unaware of all the shit I had brought into our relationship and didn't understand why she left. That woke me up from my bullshit. In the big picture, she did me a huge favour. Had she not divorced me we might still be together, me as angry as then, making both her and my lives miserable.

Relationships are difficult, that's for sure but having said that it should be clear to both parties that mean and abusive words do damage that is very difficult to repair. In dharma we say that "samaya" is broken. This means that the pure energy between two parties, whether wife and husband, or teacher and student, gets damaged or broken. It leaves a deep imprint in the subconscious mind, and those take lot of work to remove and repair. It is easier to repair it when both persons are practitioners but if the other party doesn't and there is no real self-reflection going on, you probably just end up enabling for the abusive behaviour to continue. We want to believe in the goodness of people and but the reality of samsaric self-absorbed mind is that it cannot help spitting its poison around. These are difficult matters to deal with, though there is also lot to learn from them. Having said that, never let anyone belittle or abuse you, or take away your power.

Much power and blessings to you. Like I always say, you are the real deal.

Kim

When Discrimination Fails Dharma

When Discrimination Fails Dharma

One of the biggest problems buddhism has is the strict authoritarian position of the teacher, or guru. As a tantric buddhist teacher myself I certainly do not deny the importance of guru but it is too often the case that the role of the guru becomes considered too widely than it should. Usually teachers are founders and directors of their own dharma organisations, on top of being the sole person who guides the sangha spiritually. Often teachers get way too much power. When this is combined with too little of an attainment of the teacher, all kinds of problems start arising.

Bad apples

Recently I read about Sogyal Rinpoche's extensive misconduct. A similar case of Lama Norlha Rinpoche was reported only two months prior. Reading stuff like this is like reading of the ancient Roman emperors who did all the crazy things they could imagine with the expense of others. I wonder how far it would go without any moderation. When someone with too small of an attainment and with too little motivation to attain buddhahood, becomes unchallenged and too comfortable, really bad things can happen. This happens because they don't continue their own practice (that would keep their minds clear enough to keep their conscience in the picture) and because they are not living buddhas (even though their followers often like to, or even insist thinking so).

We see unbelievably wild cases of abuse and harm in new age and other religions but it also happens in buddhism. In my view buddhism of all religions probably has the highest and clearest standards of training and yet we also have these disasters happen one after the other. I think this is the greatest harm a teacher can do. Such teachers will experience the karmic backflow of their actions but I also think they should be treated by the common law. If someone in high governmental position abuses his employees they get properly punished by law of their actions. Why should it be any different for spiritual gurus?

Sogyal's case is so extreme that I think he should not be allowed to enter any dharma hall anymore. I think it is unrealistic and stoopid to expect a book case narcissist with decades of physical, sexual and power abuse be able to come back to his senses and have a healthy mind. It's sort of like hoping that a mass murdering dictator would all of sudden become lucid of his horrible actions. It's not impossible but highly unlikely, very highly, because the negative marks that such very harmful actions weigh on the subtle nerves are so deep and compelling that even several lifetimes are not enough to neutralise them. Sometimes it is best to let go and go separate ways.

No matter what, always question

Buddhism is known for it's 2.5 thousand years of tradition. The definition of tradition is that knowledge and knowhow, dharma, is transmitted effectively from generation to generation.

However seeing cases like that of Sogyal Rinpoche, who is a venerated and highly regarded by his Tibetan buddhist teacher colleagues, makes me reason that being a recognised reincarnation of someone important in past life (tib. tulku) or having spent decades with the highest authorities and yogis of Tibetan buddhism (see photos 1., 2., 3., 4., 5.) actually might not mean anything at all. You don't become a movie star just by hanging out with movie stars, do you? To become a movie star, you have to learn how to act and act in famous movies.

I am going to get more unpopular than I already am by saying this but I recently saw someone online write of his guru:

”... the man who became my master, Chogyal Namkhai Norbu, is a special kind of master. Everyone once and a while a master who is unbelievable comes around. This is Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche. For example, he is a living master who had two of his Gurus attain Rainbow Body, he is a terton, treasure revealer, and has revealed pure visions. He is a student of many great masters, including the famous female Dzogchen practitioner Ayu Khandro. His uncles were great masters. His grandmother had pure visions. He is the incarnation of Adzom Drugpa, a famous Dzogchen master... But he was also raised as a tulku of Adzom Drugpa in a Sakya monastery, so he has a very, very firm education in Dharma. He then went to go meet his tsawai lama, the incomparable Chongchub Dorje who lived to a ridiculously old age, and who introduced him to the real meaning of Dzogchen, which changed Rinpoche's life. He also received teaching from his other uncles, and many masters, and Dakinis.”

And yet, in the Summer of 2016 in a live webcast, Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche himself said that among activities his rigpa lasts for ”3 seconds” at a time. This was his response to people who came to him and claimed they they were aware at all times. I am sorry if saying this causes strong emotions but when anyone is in the natural state for few seconds at a time, that person is not a living buddha nor a dzogchen master because the definition of a master is that such person doesn't leave the natural state. This is a simple fact. This does not lessen or nullify the long lasting dharma work of the teacher in question in any way.

The conclusion is that no matter who you have studied with, unless you are a great practitioner yourself, 1. you will not become a living embodiment of the dharma, i.e. a living buddha and because you are not a living buddha 2. you might make bad mistakes, misjudgements and cause a lot of harm for yourself and for others.

No matter how long and impressive the teacher's resume or title is his validity as a dharma teacher should be weighed by the insight of his students, not by what he has achieved materialistically. All the decorated monasteries, dharma halls and centers mean nothing unless people are waking up and maturing in that insight. Students of buddhism should only take refuge on the enlightened principles, not samsaric beings.

Open Heart Bhumi Model

One big problem why mainstream buddhism suffers is that they do not have a concrete way to measure attainments, even though attainments is a major concern. I am saying ”they” because I am not part of the buddhist establishment, even though I feel like being in the same boat with them.

The Open Heart Bhumi Model is a genious measuring stick when it comes to spiritual attainments. By learning and applying it we can come to see exactly where we or our guru is at on the map of insight, from the initial awakening to the bodhisattva stages, to buddhahood and all the way to the full rainbow body. As far as I know there is no other system like it.

If we knew where our lama is at, whether far or close from buddhahood, this would help us to use our own discrimination and intelligence, instead of becoming blind believers. And this makes all the difference.

Let's not put buddhism to shame. Let's not become believers.

Yours In Dharma.

- Orgyen Pema, 22.7.2017.

Spirituality, Sex and Abuse

Spirituality, Sex and Abuse

Noah wrote: I have been thinking about Joshu Sasaki Roshi as an example lately, myself. So, in your opinion, a teacher who is capable of (sexual) abuse of students has not completely finished their insight training? In other words, at the highest levels of enlightenment, conduct is necessarily and automatically purified? This has been my thinking, as of late: that there are levels of attainment in which things like emotion and motivation to act do get 'integrated', but that these are waaay down the line.

Baba wrote:
Hi Noah,

This is a wonderful topic. Not often talked about. I have also not talked about this because sexuality is a big taboo.

To me it looks like this. There is nothing wrong with teachers having sex with students if this is done in mutual understanding, agreement and openness of all the parties concerned: teacher, student and possibly teacher's spouse and student's spouse.
However, this is usually never the case. Teachers are not able to see their and other's sexuality in this light because they obviously have blind spots in their sex impulse and emotions, possibly feelings of guilt or something else attached to it, that hey have dissociated from in their minds. So sexuality to them is a blind spot. I think cultural and religious upbringing has a lot to do with this. The world is a pretty supressed place when it comes to sexuality. There are so many problems created by this. In the mind training/spiritual scene there are also powerful taboos such as awakening/enlightenment and human sexuality. But anyway.

When a respected, possibly charismatic dharma teacher with energetic presence, seduces his or her student, and if the teacher does not explain his or her view of what is going on, the student is mislead. This creates the karmic backflow that will follow. By karmic backflow I mean deep stress, trauma and loss of faith towards the dharma. A dharma teacher or a guru has a special place in the student's mind and heart. Sexual abuse is one of the worst things to betray the trust of the student.

Evidence of this karmic backflow is seen from several public testimonies that we have seen in the media by people, usually women, who were abused sexually by their male gurus. We can find these examples from every tradition and religion. Joshu Sasaki is one of them. These testimonials say that the relationship was not equal between the two parties. The other party, the student or students, were abused. In case this had been done in openness and clarity, being aware and awake, the outcome and the testimonies would have had a different tone altogether. There would be no grudge, no need for healing. But we never hear the students say that "Oh yes, we had wonderful and intimate time together with my teacher. Sex with him or her, gave me a new perspective of who I am, who my teacher is and what sexual awareness is". I have never heard anyone say that. We keep hearing that someone got hurt bad and that it has taken many years or decades for them to heal and re-gain their faith towards the dharma. I am sure many of these abused people left their dharma practice for good. That's one of the real bad mistakes a dharma teacher can do. Karmically speaking, that's when the shit really hits the fan for him (or her).

If we speculate that Shakyamuni Buddha, this mahasiddha who started buddha dharma, would have had sexual encounters with his students I am sure that it wouldn't have been in avoidance of the sangha knowing it or in secrecy in any way from the concerned parties. It doesn't make any sense that there'd be a living buddha, a true master, who has this immense clarity of mind and awareness when he teaches and is a stainless and pure celibate monk among people but that when he goes to this quarters after his talk and takes his robe off, there's a well known Bollywood actress giving him a blowjay at the same time when he watches TV. For a real mahasiddha this would never happen, as it did to a famous guru in India a few years back (while a hidden camera was filming).

When one has really meditated and recognised the awake awareness in bone and marrow, the clarity of mind comes together with natural ethics that you don't need to carry in your mind or recall anymore. When the conscious recognition is thorough, ethical behaviour becomes natural. You can't hurt or purposefully mislead others at that point. This is because the bodymind, including the sex impulse, is permeated with this open awareness imbued with the spirit of compassion, selfless love, nonviolence, truthfulness and freedom. At this point it is impossible to purposefully harm or mislead others, be it through sexual abuse or other forms of abuse. But most teachers or gurus are not there yet and so, they create harm to many. This is very very unfortunate for all the parties and the dharma culture in overall. The karmic reverberations extend to so many directions.

But yeah, sex and sexuality are taboos in the world. When writing this, I consider not publishing this text because being a spiritual teacher myself and talking about these things publicly, I might be be labeled as some weird sex guru, **simply because I am talking about these things** which are never talked about.

But that's the whole problem, isn't it? We are not taught about sexuality, about us ourselves as sexual beings. Instead the world culture makes us feel awkward and strange about our sexuality. "Forbidden fruit", you know. "Don't, don't don't. Put a lid on it. Pure mind vs. Dirty mind. Heaven vs. Hell" et cetera. I am sure this supression still practiced by many religions has done much more harm than good during the known history.

But anyway. My main point is that it is not the actual act of sex that is the problem in these abuse cases. It is the mind and conditions imprinted in it, as it always is.

Cheers,
Baba

Open Heart, www.openheart.fi