Buddha
and Awakening
I
was listening to a dharma talk given by a zen teacher. In the talk
she gave an account of Shakyamuni Buddha's life, his search and his
struggles.
"He
searched for 6 years. He studied with three profoundly important
teachers of the time. He studied various meditation techniques, he
struggled with the ascetic tradition, he wondered from place to
place, he had a few friends who were also on the path with him, and
he became quite discouraged because he couldn't seem to break through
his question which was why do we suffer, and what is the mystery of
suffering, and how do we end suffering."
-
Enkyo O'Hara Roshi
Listening
to this bit got me wondering of this like many times before.
Shakyamuni, before his awakening, had the problem that despite of his
utmost efforts he was doing wrong practices, practices that wouldn't
and didn't get him awake from his suffering. As the story goes he
studied with three masters of the time and came to master various
states of meditation but these states would come and go without any
permanent change on his mind. Also, Shakyamuni was neglecting his
body by meditating too much and by not eatingand sleeping. He had
studied with all the greatest yogis of his time but he just couldn't
get to a place where the knot of his confusion would untangle. This
is the problem I had and many others have.
So
Shakyamuni sat down to concentrate and swore to sit as long as it
would take him to break through. And it happened to him through
sitting for a week. On the eighth morning as he lifted his gaze, as
he was finishing his concentration exercise, he saw the star Venus in
the sky. That simple and yet direct moment of seeing the bright star
penetrated his sense of self. Through this awakening experience he
had a shift from the self-based mind to selfless mind. And it set him
free.
There
are similar stories of awakening. One zen roshi I know woke up by
seeing a tree leaf being touched by a gust of wind, after he had
finished his meditation. Another zen roshi woke up by hearing the
sound of his piss splashing in the urinal after his zazen. Awakenings
through these kind of incidents happen. It happens but it is random.
I
wonder if Shakyamuni, before his awakening, ever knew why he had the
yearning to seek. I wonder if he knew exactly why he was pursuing the
ascetic path and then the yogic path until he woke up. I don't assume
he did because had he understood that his suffering was caused by his
sense of self, or me-ness, he would have been able to tackle it head
on. But he didn't, his path testifies that. Apparently his ascetic
masters didn't really know either why they were doing all the things
they did because otherwise Shakyamuni wouldn't have needed to leave
them to find the answer on his own.
Many
meditators of the modern day share the same problem Shakyamuni did: I
need to wake up but it just isn't happening even though I am doing
everything according to the instructions of the tradition. Shakyamuni
sat for 6 years, I sat 8½. I know people who sat up to 10, 20, 35
years (long days!) but were not able to break through. Many modern
meditators have the same problem Shakyamuni did *2500* years ago. It
is a valid question why it is so random.
There
is no way to avoid suffering, or existential confusion, living as a
human being. But there are definite ways for extinquishing the fire
of self-delusion. We need to have an understanding what exactly is
the matter. When we understand that we have to have a technique, an
exercise, to tackle the issue. And thirdly it is very helpful to
receive instructions from someone who is already there.
I
hope that in another 2500 years techniques for awakening, like the
Two-Part Formula, are a household name so that the future generations
don't have to suffer the way we did.
-
Kim Katami, 30.4.2018
The
Two-Part Formula: http://www.en.openheart.fi/113
