Losing
Faith In Buddhist Tradition
I
have always thought of buddhist tradition as a solid and reliable
source of information leading to experiential wisdom. I've had this
deep conviction about it since I came across it. I realize that I've
kept this belief subconsciously up until today. At the same time
seeing all the problems and faults in traditions, I realize that I
don't have that trust at all anymore. It is the exact opposite. It is
a peculiar feeling, finding that one's beliefs aren't even nearly the
same they used to be. My trust towards the Three Jewels and my Guru
is as unshakable as always.
I
have spent years examining buddhism and its practices, and found few
key problems that prevents the tradition from being a tradition of
experiential wisdom. In this blog and in my talks I have talked about
this in great extent. To clarify my point, I specifically refer to
lack of wisdom and insight among living buddhists. I think that
buddhism, in all of its vehicles (skt. yana), have mostly become
established religion, exactly like different branches of
christianity, drained from any real meaning. Millions of followers
are lead by leaders with little or no insight at all. It didn't work
in the past, it doesn't work now and it never will in the future.
The
potential is immense in terms of written sutras and tantras but the
outcome is very little in terms of actual
emptiness realization. Even Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo, a pioneer and
heavyweight of Tibetan buddhism, admitted
that Shakyamuni Buddha failed to establish a system that would
quarantee awakening for it's followers. I've discussed poor pedagogy,
irrelevant practices, poorly understood practices, lack of
theoretical understanding and other points extensively. In my view,
there is absolutely no point doing practices that do not generate
insight but because of religious beliefs, many stick with it for
years and decades. If we compared growth of buddhist meditators to
human babies, it is like the buddhist community never even become
toddlers. They remain helpless like newborn babies without insight;
thinking, seeing and acting in divided ways. Without emptiness
insight and the vision of equality arising from therein, there cannot
be compassionate action that would lead us to peace and harmony as a
whole.
I
always looked at practice as a way to change the hurtful and
shortsighted habits of the human kind but this will not change if we
keep thinking in terms of ”us and them”, or even in terms of the
”planet and us”. If our eye of wisdom is shut, we are screwed
like the rest of numberless sentient beings who transmigrate the six
realms, just causing harm and hurt for themselves and others.
It
is so easy to forget that we are not here to stay. By living our
lives and going about our careers, relationships and achievements, we
forget that we are not here to stay. Then one day we get ill, get old
or die, and that's it. What will be the worth of our efforts when the
moment of death arrives? When we leave our human bodies all we can
take with us is our memories and emotional impressions. Will we go
with a clear mind or will we still keep feeling our hurts? Those who
have the fortunate connection to dharma, can choose, so we are
priviledged.
It
all boils down to knowing ourselves as unborn and undying, timeless
being that is full of love and kindness. As buddhas we are free,
always in balance and this love pours out as acts of kindness like
monsoon pours water. This is who we are and this is what emptiness
meditation leads to. So, if you practice, do it properly.
-Kim
Katami, 9th of August 2019
Open
Heart Sangha,
