Becoming
Vajrasattva,
Practitioner's
Account
The
following is written by Ben, Open Heart-practitioner who describes
his experiences with Vajrasattva-practice, one of the tantric preliminary
practices described in Open
Heart Preliminary Practices-book.
Preamble
All of
us have a yard, a small plot of land in our name. It is a place that
collects many things. And sometimes we forget to tend to this yard,
allowing it to become overgrown with numerous weeds.
Broken
promises, lies, cringey and regretful moments of the past,
half-finished projects, habitual beliefs, all sorts of energetic dead
ends can become tied up in this inner field.
Tantra
and Bodhicitta remind me of the activity of the farmer. Cultivating
fruit with its roots in the deep grounded soil. So when we
decide to take ourselves upon this tantric bodhicitta-farmer path, we
need to start with a solid plot of land with which to raise our
crops.
This
is where the Vajrasattva practice comes in. Toss the energetic dead
ends in the trash, uproot the weeds, and till the soil until its
hidden fresh nutrients are brought to the surface. Creating fertile
soil.
In
this sense, I can understand why repeating the Vajrasattva mantra
10,000 times is a preliminary exercise. It prepares the practitioner
with a fertile soil ground upon which to start sewing the seeds of
and tending to their practice. At the same time, there is nothing to
improve upon the basic ground that the Vajrasattva practice reveals.
 |
| One way of visualization for Vajrasattva practice. |
The Practice
The
technique is touched upon in the Preliminaries
book. After receiving the Vajrasattva practice empowerment from Kim
Rinpoche, I chose to repeat 324 mantras per day while visualizing
myself as Vajrasattva and then rest in his basic indestructible
purity. The 10,000 repetitions were completed in 31 days. Aside from
accomplishing what I have described above, this practice also gave me
an insight into some of the technology behind tantric practice.
Vajrasattva
embodies the basic indestructible purity of all Buddhas. This basic
purity is within us all, always. But due to our own
mental-emotional-physical wounds and scars, it can be difficult for
us to experientially realize this for ourselves. A sutric approach
would be working hard at this project over time. Examining yourself,
noticing all the different patterns of confusion, practicing various
meditations, and trying to heal while rediscovering your stainless
naturalness.
The
tantric is approach is different. It says, “Okay you feel so shitty
about yourself that in this instant you cannot feel your own
indestructible purity. No problem. Instead you’re going to dissolve
and reform as Vajrasattva for a little while. And as Vajrasattva, the
very embodiment of the diamond-like purity of all buddhas, you can
feel what that purity is like.” And thus you effectively take a
shortcut. Instead of undergoing the illusion of change during the
sutric route, you undergo the illusion of becoming Vajrasattva. Both
bring you to basic purity but in different ways and in different
timelines.
Of
course as this whole practice is unfolding, it is having an effect on
your karmic and energy bodies. That is the purifying effect. So it
both reveals the knowing of purity even as it has purifying
activity.
Results
I
began the practice the week after my 4th bhumi opening. It really
helped digest and move through the dark night elements that followed
the opening. Being in contact with primordial purity even as all that
stirred up shit swirled around and through the mind-body was
massively beneficial by keeping me oriented even as the loss of
previous imprints created disorientation. If anything, it emphasized
that which was reliable and constant regardless of the rhythm of
bhumi openings and dark nights.
During
that month of practice, I also had my 5th and 6th bhumi openings.
From
the very beginning, the practice reminded me of what it felt like to
be a child. There is a freshness, a whole-someness, an effervescent
wakefulness. Like getting out of a swimming pool on a beautiful
summer day.
I felt
that the Vajrasattva practice did a lot with my energy body too. The
space of my arms, head, torso and legs began feeling seamless and
non-divided.
And
with all of this also arose a sense of pride. Not in a boastful way
but in a grateful way, a non-self-referencing way. Nothing held back
or hidden, wearing naked simple presence.
Conclusions
I am
truly grateful for the empowerment and the opportunity to have done
this practice. It is clear that I will continue to engage Vajrasattva
in deity yoga in my spiritual practice.
I
expect this to be helpful in a variety of circumstances.
- Post-bhumi openings. I will likely do a few days of 3x108 Vajrasattva mantras after each opening to help with the transition.
- Liberating tied up energies. Sometimes we begin things we don’t finish, whether that be due to a change in direction or a lack of commitment. Instead of allowing those energetic intentions to linger out there half-baked, Vajrasattva practice will help free up those energetic dead ends.
- Letting go of past transgressions. When we’ve done something wrong, much of the focus often goes to how to fix it externally. And rightly so. But that can also mean we might neglect to move on internally and the memory still causes us to cringe and contract. Vajrasattva practice will help to forgive as surrender and it is probably why it was used to mend broken vows.
And I
am sure more applications will become clear along the way.
