Standing One's Ground
and Abusive Relationships
Hi Jan. It is like Trev said that some periods in practice may not have noticeable shifts happening but still there is gradual maturation taking place. Sooner or later, shifts start happening again. I would also like to point out that opening 8 bhumis is a rarity in the world of yoga. You can't find that many people in the whole world who have such depth, even if from 8 openings there is still some way to perfecting all ten. Let's not forget the big picture here
When it comes to disrespectful and/or abusive behaviour in relationship, I don't have any sympathies for that. Stand your ground. Don't let anyone tell you're worthless. Don't let anyone take away your power, take you granted or treat you like a piece of shit. I was a very angry person, sometimes mean, in my first marriage and my wife split because of that. She did the right thing but at the time I was shred to pieces because I was unaware of all the shit I had brought into our relationship and didn't understand why she left. That woke me up from my bullshit. In the big picture, she did me a huge favour. Had she not divorced me we might still be together, me as angry as then, making both her and my lives miserable.
Relationships are difficult, that's for sure but having said that it should be clear to both parties that mean and abusive words do damage that is very difficult to repair. In dharma we say that "samaya" is broken. This means that the pure energy between two parties, whether wife and husband, or teacher and student, gets damaged or broken. It leaves a deep imprint in the subconscious mind, and those take lot of work to remove and repair. It is easier to repair it when both persons are practitioners but if the other party doesn't and there is no real self-reflection going on, you probably just end up enabling for the abusive behaviour to continue. We want to believe in the goodness of people and but the reality of samsaric self-absorbed mind is that it cannot help spitting its poison around. These are difficult matters to deal with, though there is also lot to learn from them. Having said that, never let anyone belittle or abuse you, or take away your power.
Much power and blessings to you. Like I always say, you are the real deal.