Shane's Awakening

Shane's Awakening

Read also: 

Awakening by reading a book

Mark's Awakening

T's Awakening

Shane's Awakening

See Shane's before and after photos below.

 

"Before I discovered the Two-Part Formula I hadn’t much experience in meditation, in fact, for reasons that I am not entirely sure of, I hadn’t meditated for nearly 10 years.

My brother introduced me to meditation about 12 years ago and the first method I learned was a breathing awareness meditation. This seemed to have a very positive effect on me so I made a commitment to practice everyday, even though the idea of awakening or enlightenment was completely unknown to me at this stage. Around this time I also took part in a small number of retreats that were focused mainly on the practice of pure awareness. I stuck with this meditation for a while but found it

hard to stay committed. My daily practice became less and less frequent until

eventually I stopped.

During the 10 years of not meditating I had considered returning to a daily practice but could never find the inspiration that I needed. One day my

brother mentioned to me that he had discovered a new meditation technique that was awakening nearly everybody who tried it. As you can imagine I found this quite hard to believe but simply hearing about it was enough to reignite a spark in me. I didn’t go to the 2PF straight away, there was definitely something in me that was resisting it. It took a few months before I eventually decided to give it a go.

The 2PF felt strange at first and was quite unlike any meditation technique I had tried before. I certainly wasn’t one of those individuals who awakens

after one or two days. In fact, it took several weeks to break through the illusion. The 2PF never felt like it was having a very strong effect on me. I found it difficult to trigger any strong sensations of self, but I was committed and eventually it worked.

My awakening happened early on a Saturday morning, but since the afternoon of the previous day I had felt like a shift had occurred. I went out that evening to meet friends and go to a concert and throughout this whole time I felt unusually peaceful. So content and relaxed, yet energised. Socialising was much easier than usual. I often had difficulty relaxing in large groups and would usually resort to excessive drinking as a way of dealing with the tension. While cycling home I decided to try out the affirmation. Saying the words out loud and in my head, I couldn’t help but notice how the words had lost some of the meaning that they previously had. Almost to the point where they felt like they weren’t bouncing off anything, like they weren’t triggering anything in me. I went to bed when I got home and as I lay there, already after 4 am at this point, I couldn’t stop thinking to myself that something was missing. This couldn’t be awakening. My experience lacked heart, lacked warmth and love.

While lying there I became increasingly aware of a glow between my eyes. I had felt something like this before during meditation, but it had previously felt more like tension, like a clenched fist, or a rock, or a knot in my forehead. Now it felt like it was coming to life , growing warmer, and pulsing with energy. I decided to focus my entire being on it and as I did so it started to expand. The more it expanded the warmer and freer I felt. Suddenly I realised something that I had known before, but there was a sudden shock realisation of what it truly meant. For the first time in my life I realised I can be me now, really me. I said this to myself out loud. “Oh my God, I can be me now”. Nothing to be scared of anymore, nothing to chase, no-one to be, except me.

These words had such profound meaning to me that I needed to repeat them several times, completely shocked by the realisation. Suddenly I started crying

and the warm glow that was expanding across my forehead suddenly exploded, releasing a massive wave of energy across my entire body. The feeling was so indescribably intense that I broke down in completely uncontrollable tears.

My body was shaking. It felt like a huge amount of dark energy was bursting out of my body through this point in my forehead. I’m not sure how long the tears lasted but as they calmed down they were replaced by laughter and a feeling of lightness and energy like nothing I’d felt before. Even though it was 5 am I felt like getting dressed and running down the road telling everybody I met what had happened to me and how much I loved them! Crazy! I did go for a walk but you can imagine what the few people around would be like at that time on a Saturday morning, so I kept it to myself.

My awakening was such an intense experience that it took several days to recover from. The whole experience had rattled me so much that I could do

very little for those few days. But as my life gradually returned to normality reality started to sink in. The sights, the sounds, I no longer feel separated from them as I did before. I feel so connected with everything and everyone around me. Such a strange but beautiful feeling. My self could never have experienced life in this way." 

Before

After

For more info and instructions of the Two-Part Formula:

http://www.en.openheart.fi/113 

Pointers to Awakening

Pointers to Awakening

Bits and pieces from various dialogues.

• You just have to keep marinating in both modes, selfless and self-based, one at a time. The idea of the self-affirmation mode is to meet it, experience it, be aware of it, be aware of how the I feels like, what it is and how it exists. It is simply looking, seeing, feeling, perceiving, tasting how the "me" feels like. You know, just being aware of it, from the selfless space. Zoom into the I-sensations and zoom out, zoom in, zoom out. Just looking at it, not blankly, but with interest like a scientist investigates an organism under a microscope. See what is this "I" that I've thought myself to be. I am saying "What is this "I"?" This means that the I/self is being objectified. The subject self is being objectified so that it can be seen as an object in the space of awareness. It is very simple, nothing complex. It's just that this study has to be done carefully and fully through, util there is no more doubt or unclarity. There is nothing solid or permanent about the "I". It's just sensations and impressions, stuff. What is found from the center of the strongest I-sensation after affirmation? Is there anything there? Look straight into the bull's eye. This is complete instruction. Just continue.

• The thing is that selfless awareness cognises itself. There is no me, I, self or anyone there. OK. This selfless awareness is in connection with the body and mind. Through the body and mind it can feel and act. But for action it doesn't need an "I". In essence we are selfless awareness, brimming with life and aliveness, expressing itself through this vehicle of human body. Awakening is a glimpse to that but it can take a good while to actually get to this experience 100%, so that it is uninterrupted.
  
  
• No hurry. Being in a hurry is a great evil. Hopes and desires are useless as well. This formula will do it's thing when you keep applying it. Twist the steel wire, make these questions clear to yourself by studying what you experience. 
• Sometimes people don't notice a special event of awakening, they just realise that "Oh, it's a bit different now. Simple. Easy". See how it is, apply the formula.
• While using the first selfless mode, it assures that there is clarity of mind, at moments it might get quite dark and uncomfortable. This happens because the formula digs into the core of self-delusion which is a dark place. But no problemo, just be aware of whatever comes along. One small moment and observation at a time.
• Good. The tension in the head, perceiving of that, is crucial. "Me" or "I" sits behind the eyes, inside the head, looking out through the eyes and hearing out through the ears. Be aware of that, and doing just this you objectify your "I". As this is done (or conventionally put: when you do this, although it is not really "you" who does this) revelations about the nature of this self start coming.
• Don't try too much. An observation can be made just in few seconds. Small moments, small observations. It's sort of like taking down a pyramid one stone at a time. A mature craftsman does things one things at a time, not all at once.
• For an awakened person, saying the "I" or "me" doesn't do anything, energies don't get stirred up, and particularly the tension inside the head behind the eyes. That simply does not arise no matter how hard you summon the self. Do this: Relax thoroughly, marinate in the selfless space with time, without hurry. Then as your mind is clear like the surface of a still mountain pond, introduce the affirmation. Do this carefully, in detail, to find out whether this tension comes up or not. If it doesn't you might be awakened already.
• You will never get awakened. "You" will not. The awakened state is already here and there and everywhere. There is no place where wakefulness is not, except in the mnd that goes around in circles. Are you getting my point? In one sense you are your history and persona but in other sense you are not. We get fooled by appearances. You-are-awareness-without-location... "You" exist only on the level of thought. "You" are a thought! A thought! Hahaha... Isn't that funny!? Listening... no location, unbounded awareness... Seeing... so free, so direct, so immanent, so intimate! Yes?
• Stop trying to "get it". Become a fool instead. What we are doing is not highly intelligent or sophisticated. We cannot figure out our being, because being is not thinking. OK?
• I think that you are quite used to, or have become a bit attached to sitting practice. I am like that too. But both, recognition of the selfless state as well as self-based state can be done any time. It is smal observation of a split second or few seconds that matter. Yes, we use concentration and mindfulness in this processing but it's not like one has to stare one's breath or navel as in common meditation. Do the analysis, observe the modes a bit by bit, moment by moment. 2-3 minutes is a long time when doing this practice correctly, and such a short period can be all that is required. It is a matter of processing, keeping the water on heater for it to become warm and to start boiling. This means digging the subject-self out into open so that it can be seen in a correct way. What is the correct way? "I" doesn't stay and it doesn't have a fixed, firm, solid shape. "I" is just a bundle of stuff, emotions and impressions on top of each other. "I" is deeply imprinted contiuous associations and we *believe* it. We have a fixed belief in this entity. "I can not do this... I can do this! I am poor. I am great!" and what thought-associations have we. But this is just being identified as concepts and thoughts... Are "you" anythign else than a stubborn idea? Look at yourself and find out.
• Reg. "more of selfless space". You are talking about three dimensional space, that between your head and pelvis. Yes, we observe the bodyspace, 3d space, but actually selfless space is zero-dimensional, non-dimensional. Selflessness means non-locational, not located in three dimensional space or time. Thoughts, such as the I-thought on the other hand are very much located in time and space. If you affirm the "I/me", make the self apparent momentarily on purpose and watch the clock, you can observe through, or based, on this illusory self, until after a moment it again disappears. So, through this experiement we can see that the "I" is bound to time and place. And yet we are dealing with a phantom because it always mysteriously disappears when it is sought after.
• We can talk about other stuff later but now we need to take a gun, fix the aim and pull the trigger. Go back to instructions that I have given you in the first message. Then take the Awake-book and read a few dialogues from there. Then shut the door, sit down and do the two part formula. First, relax, relax, relax and recognise the open mind space... See if there is a me there or not. Look ahead and behind, left and right, up and down and the center. Am I here? Check. Then marinate in that like a piece of meat in bbq marinad. Then after the selfless is thoroughly felt through your whole body, muscles and bones, bring in the self by doing the affirmation. Punch it in: "I! I! I! I!"..." Me! Me! Me! Me!"... Some sensations will come up, then don't try to do anything, only watch at the sensations. Don't watch away from these sensations! What is this I-stuff? And where? Be deeply aware of that. Deeply! Alert! Right in the center of the strongest I-sense... Drill, drill, drill. Eventually the sensations will subside. Then start over. 
• There is this thing called "work horse mentality" which means that some people, like you and me (before), when we learn a practice or a new thing we start working with it brutely like an animal, forgetting that we can also use reason and think logically which is the faculty that separates us from animals. I've sometimes seen people with this work horse mentality practice the Two-Part Formula until they overdo it and get stuck. And its always men, never women. So what needs to be corrected is the view and understanding of the practice. First we need to have experiential context for the technique to work properly. That is the space of mind that is selfless, me-less. You relax your body and nerves thoroughly and at some point this spaciousness reveals itself. If relaxation is not enough, jump up and down, shake it off physically, and yell loudly for a few minutes and then suddenly stop moving... And it's there. Impossible to miss it like this.
  Vipashyana means liberation through seeing things as they are, not as how we think or interpret they are. The sense of me-ness is a tight bundle of thoughts, impressions and emotions. The sharpest tip of it, subject-self, you bring up purposefully by doing the affirmation, "I,I,I, me, me, me" and it comes up. And when it does, you locate it, you feel its location, by pointing with a finger if wanted and you try to get a sense of it's shape, colour and feel of it. At this point, you will feel narrowing of vision, tightening of chest, the classic signs of the self-based mode. All this is OK, it should happen. That is what the self and self-delusion is. It feels like shit. So you bring it up, without loosing the spaciousness, locate it and then you compare the two: the space and the knot. See and feel the space.. See and feel the knot in the space... See the different feel of the two... How do they feel together? Feel the edge of the knot. Feel the open space immediately around the knot... From spacious awareness, probing into, inside the knot, right at the heart of it.
  In the beginning of the process, the subject-self may rise as sensations all around the body but eventually everyone ends up with a knot behind the eyes, inside the head. That's how we subconsciously feel, that we are this being or a little man sinde our heads, looking out through the eyes, listening through the ears and living through the body that is down there, below our sense of "I". So, at some point through doing this practice, you end up with the know in the head. This applies to what I have said above. Spaciousness is not located in the body space, nor defined by the body space. It does not have a location, shape, colour or self, me, in it. But the "I", on the other hand, is there inside the head, behind the eyes. Bring your attention there, together with the spaciousness, and repeat, work it out constructively and creatively, not like a work horse. Use muscle, yor body but also have intelligence. "Me" or "I" is jst a belief but stubborn one! Beocming aware of it like this wears off the belief. Eventually the belief, the energy bound in to the knot will release, and there will be an insight, aha... And you will see clearly. This is the outcome of vipashyana meditation getting liberated by the force of samsaric thinking. Simple as that. 
• Awareness is present by itself. It is said to be self-cognizant which means that it cognizes itself, it knows itself, it perceives itself. This means that there is no entity, "me" or "I" to recognise it. In fact, the I, or self, cannot recognise it. Recognition of awareness/buddhanature/rigpa takes place when the self is absent and when there is knowing of that awareness. Recognition of the natural state does not happen in deep sleep because that cognizant, knowing aspect is switched off, although the usual sense of self is absent too. So, this knowingness is the most important thing. Putting one's attention to the space behind the eyes inside the head is the easiest location to get this through experience because the center of cognition is located in between our primary sense organs, namely eyes and ears. That is where it is easiest to recognise the I-less, selfless awareness, or to be exact there the sense of entityness drops off and the selfless cognizance can recognise itself. This might sound complex but actually its the simplest thing. Once you get it, there is nothing more obvious than this.
• Here's a little exercise for you: Look at some external object in front of you. What happens here is that your attention becomes extended to that object, sort of like the energy from your eyeballs extends, reaches out to attend the chosen object. Its like aiming a spotlight on the object. It travels fast, at the speed of light to its destination, so fast that its challenging to discern it but if you get the idea, that's enough. We are very accustomed to doing this. Usually our attention constantly seeks and looks for something outside ourselves. This strikes right at the core of the way how samsaric mind works, looking for happiness from outside of us with the miserable outcome of always getting disappointed and more bound to the sense of self. But, the beam of attention can be aimed back at its source, instead of it running around in external things. Where is the source of the attention? Its behind the eyes. So do this: Instead of actively looking, actively attending that object in front of you, imagine that the beam of attention returns to the source behind the eyeballs. Then let it rest there. How is it? How does it feel? What is the condition of your "I" when you do this? How does doing this affect the mind made of thoughts and ideas? When you learn to return your attention to the space behind your eyes, and its not at all difficult to learn that, you can relax the attentiveness, relax that sharpness, relax the looking and hearing with attention. What happens with that release? We land on plain awareness, the selfless mind that is wide awake. Utter clarity, immaculate purity that is alive. Do this exercise, as many times as necessary to get to your own conclusion. 
• Thoughts are no problem as long as we know the nature of them. Verbal inquiry about the object is fine if it helps us to understand the nature of what we are studying. Thoughts are not the enemy, you know. When it comes to the I-thought which is what we are dealing here it is the distancing from it that causes spiritual bypassing, bypassing it again and again. The outcome of this is duality between the I-less and I-based. However, if you do the 2PF properly the charge from the I becomes emptined like a ballon is emptied of air. So you need to engage with the "I" and probe into it, go into the heart of it and light a match, figuratively speaking. What is there at the center of it?  

  
  

  - When you read my instructions, let them speak to you, let them sink through your body and mind, not only mentally reading or repeating my words and then try ing to figure it out in your head. Use your body made of flesh and bones. Do the practice with your body.

  
  

  - This is vipashyana practice. It means investigation of the mind, investigating the knots that cause us to regard ourselves as separate entities, or beings. It is essential to understand that no one can "get rid of the I-feeling" like discarding clothes off. The only way to come to satisfaction is through looking into, investigating and making observations. That is the only way. So stop all that wishful thinking and gigantic expectations because they do not help. When I say to get serious about the process I mean becoming one-pointed and committed about it, you know, cutting everything else and making it a priority. I certainly don't mean loosing calmness or becoming highly emotional.

  
  
   
  Guidance to Awakening: http://www.en.openheart.fi/101
  How to Become Awakened: http://www.en.openheart.fi/113

Mark's Awakening

Mark's Awakening

Read also:

Awakening by reading a book

Mark's Awakening

T's Awakening

Shane's Awakening

Mark:

Hi Kim,

My name is Mark from UK.

My good friends Jon and Michael, whom I believe you have had some contact with, suggested that I get in touch with you regarding your guidance on how to awaken. After all three of us had a group internet call, they told me about you and the guidance that you offer, guidance which I would like to follow also.

A little bit more about me:

I am 40 years old and have been a member of the Buddhist Dharma Group since its inception in 2008. We are a practice group who follow the path of ‘Silent-Illumination’, you may already know a little about us. Prior to joining that group I was practicing with a different Buddhist organisation called the Triranta Community (formally Friends of the Western Buddhist Order). I joined that group when I was 20 and have had a committed practice including a daily meditation practice since that time. I have done many practice retreats including almost all of the retreats that the Buddhist Dharma Group have organised. I work in engineering, although I consider myself to be an artist.

Practice:

I have begun the process of familiarising myself with the 2 part formula practice, and have been trying it out since Wednesday morning (13/09/17) where I effectively used my morning sitting period (40mins) to practice the 2PF and have been trying it out during lunchtime at work and also a little time in the evenings. I almost immediately experienced physical contractions in my body, hands and chest with some shaking of the head, especially this Saturday morning (16/09/17) during the 2nd part of the formula. I would say that the first part of the practice, of experiencing embodied expansive spaciousness I am pretty familiar with, but only that it has deepened somewhat, especially in my head since using the 2nd part of the formula. But now the contractions have subsided, at least I think they have, and I notice a subtle quietness in my mind and head, again, at lest I think I do.

Sunday morning update (17/09/17 - today):

This morning I sat my 40 min period of meditation, and essentially just tried to open up to the feeling of quietness in my head/mind. I tried out the 2 part formula once, saying the affirmations “I I I, me me me, mine mine mine” out loud, but I kinda feel like my hearts not in it. I am just not getting the same convolutions/contractions that I was having earlier, so it felt best to just be with my experience and leave the formula alone until I know what is happening.

So anyhow, I could do with some guidance in these matters regarding the 2PF.

Best Regards,

Mark

Kim:
Hey Mark.
Are you ready to begin? Your training history makes you fit for this process, as those of your sangha friends who have done this already. Keep an open mind. Don't bring all what you know or have experienced with you because you need none of that now. Start fresh. No expectations or high hopes, with plainness and simplicity. If you can do just that, this can be over in few short days.
Kim

Mark:

Hi Kim,

Great to hear back from you.

With regards the awakening process I think the horse may have bolted already, so to speak. I think it happened last Saturday morning during meditation. After reading some of the case studies of the process, I recognise the events having had occurred to myself as well. I would like to write you an account if I may? I think this would be helpful.

In terms of my practice right now - I have a lot of questions. I wonder if I can ask you them?

Mark

Kim:
Mark.
You mean you awakened already? Wouldn't be surprised in your case. Sure, write me an account and send me a photo (eyes directly in the camera, no eye glasses, good light). If you are awake, we can talk practice related matters.
Kim

Mark:

Hi Kim,

Please find below an account of what I believe was an awakening experience I had last week. I have attached a picture of my face to this email.

Events Concerning Awakening

Tuesday 12-09-2017

During the evening, after a sangha team internet call to plan for the forthcoming autumn retreat, there followed a second call between myself, Jon and Michael, who are also long standing members of group.

Jon went on to explain that after many years of practice under the guidance of our former teacher (now deceased), he had still not woken up to the truth. That this is ‘getting ridiculous’ I think was the phrase he used. So he decided to do some googling to see what else is out there, perhaps there was another path more suitable?

And so he happened upon the Open Heart website and the 2 Part Formula that you offer guidance on. After trying it out for a short time, his words where that he had a ‘kensho’ experience. So he tells Michael, who in a short time, under your guidance, also has an awakening experience and that Carlos, another long standing member of the sangha, has also woken and that two other members of the sangha where also ‘in the process’.

Well, me thinks, on the surface it sounds to good to be true, but that these people I trust and have known them for a long time and I know they are committed Dharma practitioners. And so, with a feeling of disbelief but also trusting my spiritual friends I accept their advise. Jon sends me an email with all of the relevant links to the material. During our discussion that evening, Jon mentions the 2PF and the affirmations of ‘I,I,I’ and ‘me, me, me’, and, you know I almost immediately had a sense of what was happening when the I or the self is affirmed, exposed and brought out into the open light of awareness. A kind of purposeful exposure. Still with a feeling of disbelief, I head off to the land of nod, bedtime.

Wednesday 13-09-2017

I check my emails in the morning and Jon's email regarding ‘Guidance’ has already landed (late the night before). Such an important email I will not open at work though, and wait until the evening to open it. However, having listened to Jon talk about the 2PF, I start playing around with saying ‘I’ and ‘Me’ at work in my head/mind especially during my lunch break, to see what kind of effect it would have on my experience.

My sense at this time, not fully knowing the 2PF, only knowing that it involves affirming the ‘I’, is that tension is created, or rather exposed as pain and contractions in the body/mind. But that after saying the affirmations there comes a feeling of release and spaciousness.

In the evening, after a run in the park, I open Jon’s email, following the links and read the instructions for using the 2PF. I reply to Jon’s email with thanks and try out 2PF a little as I fall asleep.

Thursday 14-09-2017

I incorporate the 2PF into my 40 minute morning meditation as a means of beginning preparatory work for ‘guidance’. After some minutes of watching the rise and fall of my abdomen and opening to awareness, I begin the affirmations saying out loud, ‘I, I, I, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine’ twice,   all the while experiencing contractions and convulsions in my hands, chest and head, unpleasant but not totally unbearable. And then rest again in open awareness. I continue in this way until the end of the sitting period.

At work I use the 2PF during quieter periods including a half hour period of 2PF during my lunch break. During the evening I sit meditation, doing 2PF for half an hour and after some familiarisation of the online material on the Open Heart website, especially the ebook ‘Awake’.

Friday 15-09-2017

Pretty much the same as Thursday.

Saturday 16-09-2017

Again I use my morning period of meditation to continue the practice of 2PF. As I continue alternating between opening to spacious awareness and then affirming the ‘I’, I continue to experience physical contractions in my body, hands and chest with some shaking of the head. The head shaking, I experienced the day before but this time the onset is more sudden, happening much earlier in the meditation period. As the sit goes on, so do the contractions and subsequent feelings of release. During what I think was the last set of affirmations, saying out loud, ‘I, I, I, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine’ twice, my head shook and then curled around my neck and my legs flew in the air like one flap of a birds wings (I sit cross legged). As this happened a kind of small explosion happened in my mind/head and I saw a light appear in my minds eye, high in the room. It was a whitish blue colour and sparkled with small trails around it. It appeared as though something moved across it, just like the movement of an eye lid. There was also one trail that shimmered from its centre. I also think I saw a small black dot, but at the same time I thought a bird had flown into the room. It was there for a moment and then it was gone, disappearing with an after image of soft, sparking white-blue light. As it appeared it felt very peaceful and warm, loving and tender, gentle and soft, the kind of thing you would want to melt into. There for a moment and then gone.

Whatever it was it was kind of cool and didn’t feel wrong it any way, just another meditation experience I thought. As the morning unfolded I noticed that I was getting myself organised in an usually clear and concise way, without any fuss and very smoothly, as usually I flap and rush in an effort to save time. After getting breakfast in a nearby cafe (a new found pleasure) I drove to my parents house, who are away at the moment, in order to do a few administrative tasks. Admin tasks done, I settle down with the ebook ‘Awake’ and continue to read. After lunch I decide to take a walk in the park. The colours are bright and sharp, the sounds clear and do not feel like cutting stabs in my head as they have done in the past (for years and years). I feel light and relaxed and not lonely and worried as I often am. I enjoy the sunlight and do not feel like wearing my sun glasses. I sit down in the park and enjoy the quietness in my head/mind, that feels unusually stable and permanent, not fleeting and a battle to ‘stay concentrated’. It was then that I thought perhaps I have woken up, and that what happened during morning meditation was an awakening experience.

From then on…

After I emailed you on last Sunday (17-09-2017), to express my interest in the awakening guidance, I have been following your advise to continue to do 2PF and familiarise myself with the material. This I continue from last Sunday. Now when I say the ‘I’ affirmations, I get no reaction, no contractions of the body/mind. I think I do get perhaps a faint after effect of the affirmations, perhaps a very slight sharpening of something in my experience, but to all intense it feels like I just say the affirmations into space, with nothing reacting to them. What I do have is a brightness in my head/mind like never before, which I feel invited to open up to. It feels exciting and like I can actually practice meditation properly for the first time in my life. Which leads me practice, but first things first, am I deluding myself here with regards what I believe to be my awakening?

Best Regards,

Mark

Kim:
Hi Mark.
After reading your report and seen your photo, absolutely, you are through. Congratulations! I'll make some comments.
You are one of 8 people so far who have come to awakening by reading the materials and testing the 2PF by themselves, and case number 89 in our statistics. Nice.
You wrote on Saturday 16th of September: "...a kind of small explosion happened in my mind/head and I saw a light appear in my minds eye, high in the room. It was a whitish blue colour and sparkled with small trails around it. It appeared as though something moved across it, just like the movement of an eye lid. There was also one trail that shimmered from its centre. I also think I saw a small black dot, but at the same time I thought a bird had flown into the room. It was there for a moment and then it was gone, disappearing with an after image of soft, sparking white-blue light. As it appeared it felt very peaceful and warm, loving and tender, gentle and soft, the kind of thing you would want to melt into. There for a moment and then gone. What ever it was it was kind of cool and didn’t feel wrong it any way, just another meditation experience I thought."



This is not actually "just another meditation experience", or it kind of is but this is very significant. What happened here was an energetic occurrence which unwound your so called kundalini energy, connected it with energy centers above the head (which are very important regarding the recognition of the natural state) and then disappeared at the heart for good, leaving that warm and loving feel. I have seen many teachers tell this same thing, including my teacher Sivakami and Ramana Maharishi. This is known in buddhist tantra as well. The outcome of this energetic happening is the dissolution of the self-knot in the head which refers to an irreversible insight. Just to let you know, in Tibetan Heart Yoga which is our main practice in Open Heart, we connect with the centers above the head in every practice session. These instructions can be found from the introduction at the website, if you wish to check it out. The main point about all kinds of energy sensations is that fully enlightened being, buddhas, don't have them but having said that some experiences like this one are indications that something important is happening from the point of view of dharma, i.e. knowing one's mind.
You have a long practice background. Awakening was long overdue... but I am glad for you that it happened! The first person who asked me for awakening guidance had spent over 30 years meditating full time and wasn't awakened, so its good that you didn't have to wait any longer.
As you say, your meditation will be significantly different from now on because "I" won't be jumping back and forth to split it. It has been great for me to work with your sangha members because you have done so much hard work sitting on your butt. That's why its also been rewarding, kind of a relief, because you guys if anyone deserve it after all that sitting.
I am sure your mind is pretty stable by now, after 20 years of sitting but having said that you still have a whole range of insights and maturation ahead of you. In Open Heart, we have something called Open Heart Bhumi Model. Bhumis are talked about in mahayana and vajrayana buddhism, althought they don't use bhumi mapping like we do. Anyway, awakening refers to opening of the 1st bhumi (not perfecting it). After this opening there are 12 more to go, plus perfecting all of them. Because it is quite a task, as a teacher of all sutra, tantra and dzogchen, I recommend tantric practice for attaining this because it much faster than sutra and more suitable for laypeople. Other methods work too, it just takes longer.
If you have any questions, glad to help.
Kim Pema

Mark:

Hi Kim,

That's great news many thanks. It feels good to get confirmation on my awakening.

Also thanks for the information that you have sent me, it is very informative and inspiring. I shall begin looking through the info, in particular the Tibetan Heart Yoga meditation. I shall study the material though and see how it feels. I will also speak to Jon and compare notes. I look forward hearing his experience of THY.

I know almost nothing of Bhumis, apart from what our former teacher, now deceased, has written about them in his book, but that was something I read years ago and never went anywhere near since, as nothing like that was ever my experience, at least not before last Saturdays awakening. I did however, a few nights ago watch your YouTube video on the bhumi model and dark night. It's pretty far out to say the least, but maybe not, time will tell.

Once again a hearty warm thanks for offering the 2PF. I must say that although very grateful for the spiritual transformation (which is kind of an understatement!) I am stunned and shocked at the simplicity and childishness of the predicament I was in. I could almost cry at the time and effort I have put into practice over the years, all the needless suffering. However, how was I to know the way out would be so simple?

Thanks again,

Mark

Kim:

OK, go ahead and see how it feels. The introductory practice has a few techniques, very important ones actually, including guru yoga with Guru Rinpoche. Making that connection (with him or other mahasiddhas, masters) is a life- and path-changer. I started with zen, sat a lot but made very little progress. Then when I learned the principle and technique of tantric guru yoga and felt how the master's presence can so palpably felt in my bodymind, it changed everything and there was no going back to the old way because through guru yoga I could get glimpses of the natural state as much as I wanted. It didn't happen prior to that. In my view, the most important thing in the path of dharma is to have those glimpses. Everything else is secondary. Unfortunately the vast majority of old dharma systems are caught in thinking otherwise which makes the path for the practitioners needlessly long, demanding and fruitless. Both you, me and your dharma siblings are examples of this, as are numerous others around the world. There must be hundreds of thousands of people worldwide putting in the hours, being very devoted and good students and yet, not getting much fruit. In Open Heart we, the masters, my wife and I, have made a conscious effort to shed everything that is needless (both from practices and verbal view) and make the system simple and direct without compromising the ultimate attainment of buddhahood in this life. I cannot emphasize the role of our gurus here. Without them none of this would be happening.

As far as I know reading or mapping bhumis, like we do in Open Heart, is not done in any other school of dharma, even though extensive commentaries are given on them. I assume that at some point this skill was lost and all that is left now doesn't make any sense. I understand perfectly how strange or suspicious all this might seem. Just try and see for yourself. I am so glad that Jon has made this great effort in getting you all try one by one. Do you think you would have considered the Guidance without the recommendation of your dharma brothers? Maybe, maybe not... But now, a week or two after meeting with the materials, not even receiving pointers from a teacher, you are awake... which didn't happen to you through other dharma paths you have followed for almost 20 years. The same has happened to 90 other people so far. This is just a pragmatical note. As this text is going to be published in my blog I also want to make people think these things.

Another pragmatical statement. About 1½ years ago I had a chat with Daniel Ingram, one of the founders of the pragmatic dharma movement. He told me that he knew "about 20 arhats" worldwide, including himself. These included famous theravada buddhist teachers. Bhumi mapping Dan and other "arhats" of their movement as well as masters from the East, they all have opened their 6th bhumis, more or less perfected. At the time, 1½ years ago, I think there was only a few 6th bhumis in Open Heart Sangha. Now there are 19. We also have 9 people who have opened one or more of the mahasiddha bhumis which means that the natural state is their prevalent state. This group is now in the process of perfecting their bodhisattva bhumis, that is, fully purifying their minds. Shouldn't take long when people start getting the ultimate fruit. This may sound a bit technical, sorry for that. I'm an engineer by nature so I sometimes get excited explaining these things. Anyway, take it one step at a time. See if this hypothesis works for you. Never believe.

Exactly Mark... It is that simple...

Have a great day!

Kim