Mia's Experiences with Pemako
Here is the story of how I found Pemako, slipped away and came back. I share this hoping that somebody out there can recognise something in my experience and benefit from it.
Around 2015 I started to look for a spiritual practice without any previous meditation experience. I went to a weekend seminar where different spiritual teachers presented their practices, and there Kim Rinpoche was the first teacher I took interest in. His approach to awakening was different from anything I had previously heard so I ended up contacting him.
Under his guidance it took me four days to awaken on 20 May 2016. Just before the first bhumi opened there was a painful moment followed by a wonderful moment of clarity. The clarity soon wore off but one significant change remained: I used to be very dependent on going regularly to the forest in order to deal with overwhelm but after the 1st bhumi opened, much of that dependence was gone. That felt like a small miracle.
First attempt with Pemako
Soon afterwards, in June 2016, I joined Kim Rinpoche´s retreat in Lapland. My aim was to observe with an open mind the teacher, teachings and students, and I really liked what I saw. The teachings felt solid, the sangha friendly and committed and overall, it was a setting that I felt comfortable with so I decided to give it a try. Soon afterwards I did Rainbow Body Yoga course in Tromsø, Norway.
However, to my disappointment, in my everyday life I didn´t have the concentration to make the practice work for me. I got up in the morning and sat down as instructed but got lost repeatedly. On paper I understood the instructions but couldn´t repeat them in my own body in any meaningful way so I concluded that this is too difficult for me and gave up.
Attempt with the Ishayas
Then I turned to another teaching. The group was called Ishayas, and although their approach is very different from that of Pemako both have in common the aim of mind purification. The meditation consists of repeating in your mind certain very simple techniques, and I was pleased that I managed to follow their method easily. The benefits this practice produced for me were that it increased the clarity of my mind and improved my concentration.
In contrast to what happened with Pemako, in this case the lack of complexity became a problem. My questions about energies were always waved off by referring me to the present moment and asking if there is a problem to be felt right now. I get the point but I also think that by completely overlooking the thinking brain we reduce ourselves instead of elevating ourselves, however good the intention, and over time that created some frustration for me.
Back to Pemako
In 2020, I noticed early on that the world was going badly. As the situation escalated, I fell into a deep crisis. It became clear that spiritually I wasn´t up to the situation and that with my complacency I was part of the problem. So from trusting that spiritually I´m fine and I have all the time in the world I moved rapidly to feeling the exact opposite; I was far from where I should be and had no time to lose. In my distress, I somehow remembered Pemako again. The fact that Pemako had a clear path forward and a proper theoretical framework suddenly felt very appealing.
In May 2020 I joined Pemako´s online retreat and encouraged by the good experience decided to give it a second chance. This time round I had no problem following the instructions by myself. Rainbowbody yoga felt much more accessible. Also my desperation certainly helped, as did the fact that now I was technologically much better off than in 2016. Back then I didn´t have internet at home, neither did I have a smartphone, so I depended heavily on written instructions – sounds like ancient history but this is how it was.
In a short period of time, Rainbowbody Yoga has proved to be hugely transformative. I noticed it as soon as I started with the exercises addressing imprints stored in the limbs. In the year or so that followed, I went through some rough times, so called dark nights. In my case these moments took literally place in the night: I was neither asleep nor awake and all night long distressing thoughts ran through my mind and made my body shake. It was like having a high fever without physically having temperature. Still I took some weird pleasure in these difficult nights because from the experience of other sangha members I knew this meant things were moving forward.
I´m writing this in May 2022, and this is what I have gained since I started practicing the Pemako method in July 2020:
Free flow of emotions. Instead of looking for pleasant emotions and running away from painful emotions, I now welcome all emotions more freely. This is a huge change that I can´t emphasize enough. I still have automatic patterns that need to be cleared (such as anticipating other people´s feelings and trying to raise their mood already before they lash out at me) but at least I´m aware of them. I´m not nearly as constricted as I used to be.
More love. Love and understanding comes much more naturally than two years ago. Also this is a big change and liberating in itself. Many behaviours that used to trigger me don´t trigger me anymore. I react to them with neutrality or even mild love, which even I myself am surprised at.
More courage and integrity. One of the aims I stated to myself when rejoining Pemako was to gain more courage and integrity in order to change my life, and little by little I have managed to do this. It´s an ongoing process but now I am a different person than I was two years ago and also my circumstances are different.
I´m deeply grateful to Kim Rinpoche for making all of this possible for us. How many teachings would produce similar results in a similar timeframe?! I hope the Pemako teachings will spread far and wide so that as many people as possible can enjoy them, for the benefit of all beings.
Written by Mia from Brussels, Belgium