What is Awakening on the path to Enlightenment? - Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso Rinpoche

 

What is Awakening on the path to Enlightenment?

I just found this lovely elaboration on Awakening by Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso Rinpoche. The only part that I respectfully disagree with is the notion that seeing through the self takes a long time. With the most effective instructions like the Two-Part Formula (www.twopartformula.com) and the proper determination, Awakening can be achieved within days or weeks. - Ugi

»Although this is called the Sravaka stage because it represents the heart of the Sravaka vehicle, one should not assume that it is unimportant in the other vehicles of Buddhism. Milarepa, the great Vajrayana master, taught his disciple, the shepherd boy, the Sravaka meditation on not-self after the boy had shown signs of having great natural meditation ability. It is said that on being told to meditate on a small image of the Buddha he went straight into meditative absorbtion (samadhi) for a week without noticing the time. When he came out of samadhi it seemed to him he had only been meditating a few seconds.

At this stage one does not consider the emptiness of all phenomena but only the emptiness or lack of self in the person. The importance of this is that it is the clinging to the idea that one has a single, permanent, independent, truly existing self that is the root cause of all one's suffering. One does not need to have an explicit or clearly formulated idea of self in order to act as if one had one. 'Self here means the implied self which might also be regarded as implied in the behaviour of animals. Animals, just like us, identify themselves with their bodies and minds and are constantly seeking physical and mental comfort as they try to avoid discomfort and assuage pain. Both animals and humans act as if they have a self to protect and preserve and one regards this behaviour as automatic and instinctive as well as normal. When pain or discomfort arise the automatic response is to try to remove it. It is extraneous to the self and the implication is that the self would naturally be happy if all pain and suffering were removed.

Strangely, however, when we try to analyse our behaviour in relation to this self, we realize that we are very unclear as to what this self really is. Non-Buddhist thinkers have defined the self variously as resting in the brain, blood or heart and having such qualities as true or transcendental existence in or outside of the mind or body. To have any meaning such a self has to be lasting, for if it perished every moment one would not be so concerned about what was going to happen to it the next moment; it would not be one's 'self anymore. Again it has to be single. If one had no separate identity why should one worry about what happened to one's 'self any more than one worried about anyone else's. It has to be independent or there would be no sense in saying 'I did this' or 'I have that'. If one had no independent existence there would be no-one to claim the actions and experiences as its own.

We all act as if we had lasting, separate, independent selves that it is our constant pre-occupation to protect and foster. It is an unthinking habit that most of us would normally be most unlikely to question or explain. However, all our suffering is associated with this pre-occupation. All loss and gain, pleasure and pain arise because we identify so closely with this vague feeling of selfness that we have. We are so emotionally involved with and attached to this 'self that we take it for granted.

The meditator does not speculate about this 'self. He does not have theories about whether it does or does not exist. Instead he just trains himself to watch dispassionately how his mind clings to the idea of self and 'mine' and how all his sufferings arise from this attachment. At the same time he looks carefully for that self. He tries to isolate it from all his other experiences. Since it is the culprit as far as all his suffering is concerned, he wants to find it and identify it. The irony is that however much he tries, he does not find anything that corresponds to the self.

Westerners often confuse self in this context with person, ego or personality. They argue that they do not think of the person, ego or personality as a lasting, single, independent entity. This is to miss the point. The person, personality or ego as such are not a problem. One can analyse them quite rationally into their constituent parts. The Western tradition has all sorts of ways of doing this. The Buddhist way is to talk of the five skandhas, the eighteen dhatus or the twelve gates of consciousness. The question is not whether or not the person, personality or ego is a changing, composite train of events conditioned by many complex factors. Any rational analysis shows us that this is the case. The question is why then do we behave emotionally as if it were lasting, single and independent. Thus, when looking for the self it is very important to remember it is an emotional response that one is examining. When one responds to events as if one had a self, for example when one feels very hurt or offended, one should ask oneself who or what exactly is feeling hurt or offended.

If you are not convinced that you behave emotionally as if you had a lasting, single and independent self, then it is important to address yourself to this issue before moving on to consider the doctrine of not-self. Think carefully about pain and suffering and ask yourself who or what it is that is suffering. Who is afraid of what will happen; who feels bad about what has happened; why does death seem such a threat when the present disappears every moment, scarcely having had a chance to arise? You will find that your thinking is full of contradictions, inconsistencies and irresolvable paradoxes. This is normal. Everyone (exce'pt, perhaps, the insane) have a common sense notion of what or who they are which works (more or less) and enables them to function as normal human beings.

However, when the meditator addresses himself to what or who this self is, he cannot find it. Then gradually, very gradually, it dawns on him that the reason he cannot find it is that it is not there and never was. There is tremendous emotional resistance to this realization so it takes a long time to break through, but when it does there is an immediate release of tension and suffering. The cause of it has gone. The cause of it was a mental attachment to something that was not there.

Sometimes the resistance to the realization takes the form of irritation. One is used to being able to explain things to oneself rationally. Experience of the 'self is so direct and in a sense so obvious, there seems to be no reason to include it in one's rational explanation of things. On the other hand, when one does try to explain it to oneself, the whole thing is so irritatingly subjective it seems one could never reach any satisfactory conclusion. Instead of letting the mind rest in the actual experience of that paradox, one gets frustrated and irritated at not being able to form a water-tight explanation of what the 'self is. It is important to notice that and be aware of it. If one tries to just push that irritation out of one's mind, one will never have a deep realization of not-self.

Clinging to the idea o( self is like clinging to the idea that a piece of rope in the dark is a snake. When the light is turned on and one sees that there is no snake there, one's fear and suffering that arose from clinging to it as real dissolve. The snake never existed in the· first place, so it was simply one's clinging to that idea that caused the suffering and nothing "else. The wisdom that realizes not-self is like the light that revealed the rope was not a snake.

Clearly, in order to end one's own suffering, there is nothing more important than to realize that when one acts as if the body and mind constituted a lasting, separate, independent self, one unthinkingly attributes to them qualities which they simply do not have.

Nothing in the whole stream of mental and physical phenomena that constitute one's experience of body and mind has the quality of separate, independent, lasting existence. It is all change and impermanence, moment by moment and so none of it can be 'self and it is one's persistent effort to treat it as if it were, that makes it a constant stream of suffering (duhkha).

Realizing not-self is the first step to realizing the empty nature of all phenomena. That is why the first teachings of the Buddha concern the Three Marks of Existence i.e. suffering, impermanence, and not-self.

THE DREAM EXAMPLE

The Buddha often used the example of a dream to illustrate his teachings on emptiness and this example can be applied with increasing subtlety at each stage of the meditation progression on Emptiness. It is a good example for showing how the two truths, relative and absolute, work together. In a dream there is a sense of being a person with a body and mind living in a world of things to which one feels attracted or averse depending on how they appear. As long as one does not realize it is just a dream, one takes all these things as real and one feels happy or"sad on account of them.

For example, one may dream of being eaten by a tiger or being burnt in a fire. In the absolute truth no-one is being eaten or burnt, but still in terms of the dream one might really suffer as if one had been. The suffering arises simply by virtue of the fact that one identifies oneself with the person in the dream. As soon as one becomes aware that it is only a dream, even if the dream does not stop, one is nonetheless free to think, 'It does not matter; it is only a dream. It is not really happening to me.' The person that was suffering in the dream only arose as a temporary manifestation dependent on the condition of one's not being aware that it was only a dream. It had no separate, independent, lasting 'self of its own.

Understanding this intellectually is not enough to free oneself from the strongly ingrained habit of clinging to one's mind and body as a separate, independent, lasting self. One has to examine the stream of one's mental and physical experience again and again, reflecting on what one does or does not find until one reaches total conviction and certainty. Having become convinced of what is the case, one then has to meditate, resting the mind in this new-found knowledge until the veils caused by one's habitual patterns of thought have finally dissolved. At this point direct, unmistakable realization of not-self arises and it is this genuine experience that actually liberates one from suffering.«

-Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso Rinpoche

Birgit's Awakening

 

Birgit's Awakening

I am sharing here a bit and photographs from Birgit's guidance to awakening that she did with Ugi.

-Kim

Birgit from Germany awakened!

Here's her final two reports:

"Dear Ugi,
Today I felt very supported in the selfless space. I called the ego and got light pressure on my head. Not quite as helmet-like as before, but rather individual pressure points. I felt into it, but there is nothing behind it. These points dissolve when I feel them. And then I had a tingling and buzzing in and around my whole body, as if I was dissolving. As if the body was dissolving.
When I think about the I, I think about my body and my appearance at the same time. But this is not the I, because this is somehow changeable.
I think the I exists only as a thought. But what is it that reacts flattered or happy or angry?"

And the final one:

"Dear Ugi,
yesterday it was very quiet inside me, I felt carried, and the noise, which usually prevails in my head, was no longer there. The volume control was probably turned to "quiet". And I had the subtle knowledge that I had unmasked it:
There's no one there inside of me. There is no I. There is no "control center" in me from which everything emanates. It is empty within me.
When I called the 'I' this time, it sounded different in me. No longer meaningful, rather meaningless. It had no effect on my feelings, because I knew that there was nothing there.
A slight, barely perceptible head pressure, perhaps, but even that had no meaning. I never left the selfless room.
I felt very calm and carried all day long. And practiced to perceive myself in the selfless space.
Even today everything feels very light. Unconcerned I watch the newsfeed on FB, which usually takes me quite emotionally. It all feels very wide inside me. Like I said, rather uninvolved in terms of the outer life.
I feel comfortable inside me. The topic, which has been on my mind and emotions for the last year, has retreated into the background. I feel freer and can enjoy life very much.
The tightness in my body is no longer there and in my head it is perhaps still minimal. But that has no relevance either.
Thoughts and feelings just come. They arise as naturally as my heartbeat or breathing or the functions of my organs. They also leave again when I let them.
Many greetings and a happy Sunday,
Birgit"

Before awakening (left) and after awakening (right)

Guidance to Awakening:

https://www.pemakobuddhism.com/34533

Awakening - Assuming the Center of the Mandala

 

Awakening -

Assuming the Center of the Mandala

Buddhism is a vast collection of teachings and practices. Some teachings are easy to learn and understand, others are complex. Forms vary yet the essence of buddhist practices is the same. Buddhism is a tradition of awakening from existential fantasy to existential reality.

Roughly speaking, buddhist yogas – meditations and yogic practices –can be divided into two categories,

1. primary practices that directly generate awakening from self-based delusion and

2. secondary practices that support the primary practices

This categorisation is oversimplification but at the same time we can easily see which practices and approaches generate instant recognition of wakeful awareness common to all mind phenomena, and which do the same but in a roundabout (long or short) manner.

Guru Rinpoche's Pure Land Buddhism, commonly known as Pemako Buddhism, begins with a primary exercise known as the Two-Part Formula. The two parts or mind modes of the Two-Part Formula (2PF) are selfless state and self-based state. What is unique to 2PF, which is also the reason why it is so effective, is that the self-based mode is purposefully brought back every time it disappears. All thoughts come and go in the mind, and similarly the I- or me-thought comes and goes in impulsive and random fashion. The Two-Part Formula doesn't allow this and the sense of gross I, me, mine-thought is brought back with the affirmation, so that it can be investigated under the microscope of mindful awareness. Because of these two factors together, recognition of selfless awareness and affirmation, the grossest sense of self is put under pressure that it cannot persist. Inevitably sooner or later there will be a shift – awakening - in one's mind.

In our system of training, the technical term for this shift is opening of the 1^st bhumi. From the tantric perspective it can be described as assuming of the center of the enlightened sphere or mandala, which in terms of tantric deities belongs to Amitabha Buddha. According to the categorisation above, the 2PF is a primary practice that's sole purpose is to generate awakening from self-delusion. This is the beginning of not only Pemako buddhist path but the beginning of all buddhist paths. Awakening is universal, there is no doubt about that. See Lion-Faced Guru Podcast episode titled Universal Awakening. 

 

Yourself depicted as Amitabha Buddha radiating as pure light and blessings

As a human being whose existence is marked by painful self-based ignorance, my whole life I have sought for peace and harmony, and I know many who have had the same problem. Acting and reacting from a solid belief in individual self is a world of pain and suffering. This belief, this solidifed, calcified, hardened, crystallised thought causes problems and conflicts in endless ways. This belief, this stubborn belief, is the root cause of our suffering. The good news is that, on the other hand, it is none other than a deeply stuck belief, and as stubborn as it may be it is possible to remove it by investigation. It is as simple as that.

There is no reason whatsoever to think that we wouldn't be ready or fit for awakening, or that awakening should be postponed. Within you, me and everyone else there is a perfectly awake buddha living but she is dormant, as if asleep... Please, wake her up!

Help yourself and come in contact with the reality yourself. I have written extensively about awakening and its implications in Awake-book, that is free of charge.

Namo Amitabha,

- Kim Katami, 12.9.2020

Pemako Buddhism,

www.pemakobuddhism.com

Chris’s Guidance to Awakening, by Lama Karl Eikrem

Chris’s Guidance to Awakening

*This guidance took place over a period of 7 days*

Chris: Hello Lama Karl,

I am writing to inquire about guidance to awakening.

I first heard about the 2PF on Reddit about a year ago via the r/streamentry subreddit. I have been practicing meditation on and off since I was 16 (almost 20 years, now), but more seriously over the past few years. I have some experience in Vipassana, Zen, and Vajrayana traditions and have practiced with a few sanghas but have never formally had a teacher.

Recently I became more interested in the 2PF. I am about half way through reading the Awake! book and have been practicing the 2PF for 30 minutes a day for the last 10 days. I have had some interesting experiences so far and am eager to deepen the practice. I have also listened to Kim's guided meditation on Insight Timer and watched a number of the testimonial videos that are on YouTube.

Please let me know what I will need to do in order to undertake guidance at this time, if such is available.

Thank you.

Karl: Hi Chris,

Good to hear from you. I’d be happy to help you out. It is good that you have many years of practice under your belt, it should make things easier.

We usually recommend people familiarise themselves with the 2pf for about two weeks before starting, but I’m happy to start straight away. Shall we?

Chris: I just completed my morning meditation (30 minutes). This is day 12 of practicing with the 2PF for me, though only 1 session per day up till now. If you are interested, I kept a journal of my experiences so far, which I can send to you, or provide a summary.

Today (as in the past couple of days) I have had a harder time bringing up clear physical sensations in the I-based mode. I am trying to affirm 'I, I, I' quite strongly and with some emotion of frustration or vexation. I have to keep my voice low because I live in a large apartment complex, however, so sometimes it is more like a stage whisper. Currently, the 'I' feels like it is located in or behind the face, especially the eyes and cheeks. It appears to be centered right in between my eyebrows. In fact, over the past couple of days, I have had less and less physical sensations in response to the affirmations. Between the eyebrows, there is a mild feeling of pressure and sometimes tingling. Instead of a tight ball of energy, it feels wispy and diffuse. These sensations are subtle and therefore more difficult to follow. Sometimes I feel a bit of frustration that I am having a hard time with the technique or that more isn't happening. I feel the frustration or impatience in my chest and stomach, but then if I ask myself, "Who is feeling frustrated," it comes back to the point between the eyes.

Karl: Very good. Most people end up between the eyebrows, and it is totally normal that the sensations vary in intensity. The fact that it is getting weaker or more subtle is because you have been peeling the layers off it, just like peeling an onion. Ground yourself properly in the clarity of the I-less mode, so that your sensitivity to the change between the two modes increases. Forget about "more things happening" just work with what it taking place each moment. Everything sounds normal from your description, so there is no need to worry. One last point is that you don't have to say the affirmations out loud. All that matters is that you mean it when you say it. Another trick can be to remember specific memories that trigger the I-sensation strongly. 

Chris: During the I-less mode, I can mostly relax the body, and I have been trying to let my mind just melt into the parts of the body as they relax. I'm not totally sure that I understand the instructions for the I-less mode, or that I am doing it right. I do feel generally relaxed and spacious, but I am not sure I am reaching a true I-less state, because when I ask myself, "Where am I?" the attention will zoom right back to being behind the face. Does that make sense?

Karl: Also normal. Forget about reaching the "true I-less state" and just marinate in the relaxation and spaciousness. Another word for spaciousness is knowingness. Knowingness refers to the fact there there is absolutely no effort involved in feeling the natural sensations of the body. There is no doing there, there is just automatic, spacious knowing. And this knowing is completely natural and ordinary, no fireworks at all. So let go of the "trying" and just marinate in the natural relaxation. And don't bring up the "I", in the middle of the relaxation as that will bring you to the second mode. Take your time, several minutes.  

Chris: In my daily life, I have been feeling pretty good, overall. I am working full-time from home (due to the coronavirus) and just moved into a new apartment, so I have a lot of things on my to-do list, and certainly some stress. But I feel pretty resilient, and have very positive interactions with others. I do notice the 'I' coming up in my daily life, although perhaps more object-I than subject-I. For example, if I get a stressful email at work, I can watch the wave of anxiety rise and fall in my stomach. Or sometimes in work meetings, I notice myself wanting others to perceive me in a positive way.

Karl: Stressful can be good as it gives us an opportunity to study the "I". If anxiety etc comes up, simply trace it back to the root, the subject, what grasps or hangs onto the sensations.  

Chris: Last night I had a strange little experience. I woke up either in a dream (a moment of lucidity) or just after a dream. When I noticed I was conscious, I looked for the 'I' and, for a moment, there was nothing there. I fell back asleep soon after this. This morning, things seem to be normal.

Karl: Sounds like a glimpse to me. Very normal but a good sign indeed. Keep on going!

Chris: Thank you for your feedback. I am doing the 2PF twice per day now for 30 minutes each time. Last night was my first evening session, and I found myself feeling a bit sleepy. I wonder if it would be better for me to do my second meditation right after work/before dinner, rather than before bed? I also wondered if it would be better for me not to drink during the guidance? Normally I have a beer with dinner, and I just want to make sure that will not interfere with my meditation in the evening.

Karl: It doesn't really matter when you practice as long as you stick to the two daily sittings. If you find that you are too tired in the evening, feel free to experiment with a different schedule. As for drinking a beer or two, I don't see that it would be much of a problem in general, but again you have to see if it affects your ability to process. 

Chris: In last night's meditation, I again had only subtle sensations, mostly centred between the eyebrows. I tried your suggestion of bringing up memories related to the self. I ended up bringing up a bunch of memories in rapid succession, including many of the things in my life that were most painful to the 'I.' This intensified the sensations somewhat, but not as much as I expected. Occasionally I still have feelings of tightness around the solar plexus--almost like a band of pressure that goes around my torso, but mostly it is all centred between the eyebrows. 

Karl: Alright. As long as there is something that arises that can be studied, it is not a problem that it is more subtle. Also, if other sensations in the body are stronger than behind the eyes after affirmation, do check them out. Always go to the strongest sensation, regardless of where it is. 

Chris: In the I-less mode, I have been able to notice that there is no self required for sensory perception. As you said, awareness is already effortlessly aware of body sensations, sounds, objects in the visual field, and so on. The self is extra. 

Karl: Very good. You are clearly getting an experience of it. Keep marinating. 

Chris: I also noticed this as I took a walk after work yesterday. For several minutes, I was able to sink into this sense of not needing to do anything or think anything... just kind of allowing life to flow through me. There was a sense of peace, but still on a relative level. My thinking mind was kind of sputtering like an engine low on gas. Also, a few times during the day, I noticed myself thinking about something (my typical inner narrative) while my body was effortlessly executing some task without needing to think about it--like making a cup of tea. It made me realize that all that thinking and narrative is so unnecessary. 

Karl: Good. 

Chris: This morning's meditation was about the same, except with less sleepiness and more clarity. I am trying to really study the sensations between the eyebrows, though without trying to force anything. 

Karl: You are doing great. Just keep grounding yourself in the effortless clarity of the first mode, before bringing that clarity to whatever sensations arise after the affirmation. 

Chris: I am trying to take your advice and really ground myself in the I-less mode before applying myself to the affirmations. I think up till now, I have leaned a little more toward the I-based mode because of my eagerness to study the I and to "finish the job." But I realize the modes are equally important.

Karl: Yes, exactly. It is very common to focus too much on either one, but if you focus too much on the I-based mode you will not have clarity and get lost in identification with what arises. If one focuses too much on the I-less one will not able to weed out the root of the problem. Always both modes. 

Chris: But I realize the modes are equally important. In any case, I'm still not 100% sure I'm doing the I-less mode correctly. When I release a tension in the body, I seem to feel some warmth or vibration, rather than an empty space. I have just been letting my mind feel that, and continuing to move through the body. Sometimes once I've gone through several spots in the body, I do feel a kind of space open up--as if I'm sitting in the middle of a big, dark cavern. It is a generally peaceful and spacious feeling. 

Karl: Spaciousness or openness are just metaphors that specifically convey the lack of contraction, lack of self-hood. We are not necessarily talking about a big empty space (i.e. 3-dimensional space) etc. The warmth and vibration that you describe are perfectly valid descriptions of the I-less mode. Sometimes we can have "deeper" experiences as you describe, but just keep doing what you do without expecting anything. Do the sensations you experience when letting go feel more natural than the tensions? Freer? Check. 

Chris: When I go into the I-based mode, the affirmations are still bringing up quite subtle responses. I'm paying attention to all the body sensations that come up--not just between the eyes. But that is still where I feel it most strongly. The area of the sensations is quite small, about the size of an American quarter-dollar coin. If I had to describe the shape, it feels like a couple of strands of energy that are tied together--like a knot that has already been loosened somewhat--and turning and twisting around in space. The feeling is one of tingling or energy, sometimes a mild pressure. I have been feeling the same sensation come up a few times, walking around in my daily life. It grows stronger the more attention I pay to it.

Karl: If the sensations between the eyes are the strongest after doing the affirmation, then zoom into it and study it as closely as possible. Really get on the inside of it.. Does it have a centre?

Chris: A few times in my sitting meditations, I have noticed my mind wandering a bit. Much less than in other types of meditation I've practiced, but it is still there. Any tips on how to deal with this? I've tried Kim's advice of saying "Ha, ha!" or "Ho, ho!" sharply, and that seems to work at least temporarily.

Karl: The shouting of "Ha's" and "Ho's" is what I usually recommend if the wandering hinders the process. If a few reps don't do the trick, then you can try shouting it rythmically for longer. Like 30 seconds or so. That usually does it. Only use it to cut through to the first mode, though, not when studying the "I". 

Chris: I do notice that my narrative self is still quite active--always telling the story of what I'm doing, what I'm going to do next and so on. It even tries to co-opt awakening, like "Now I'm doing the guidance with Karl... I wonder if the process will work... If I do get awakened, it will be interesting to try the Rainbow Body Yoga, that sounds enjoyable..." and other such stuff. 

Karl: Nevermind, leave it be. Thoughts aren't really a problem when processing the 2PF, unless of course it's buzzing to the point where there is no focus.

Chris: Sorry for the length of my emails--if you have any feedback on how to make my reporting most effective (as well as my meditation), please let me know. Thank you again for your time.

Karl: As long as you are on point, which you are, the longer emails are no problem. Try out the things mentioned above and let me know how it goes. You don't have anything to worry about with regards to how the process is unfolding. Go on!

Chris: Thanks for your advice about the I-less mode, I feel less worried now that I am doing it wrong. I am relaxing the body and mind, and it certainly feels freer and more spacious than the I-based mode. In the I-based mode, when I do the affirmations, the sensations that come up are still centred between the eyes. It is mostly a feeling of pressure, now. On the other hand, I also sometimes feel like "I" am in the space behind the eyes. Is there a distinction between these two phenomena?

Karl: Good to hear about the I-less mode. The I-less mode is the true nature of sensations, of being, so it is hard to "do" it wrong if you simply stop doing so much and relax with what is… As for the "I" behind the eyes, whenever it feels that way, you should investigate it. Try this technique (similar to what you describe that you do in everyday life) when sitting as well.. Like this: 

Recognise the feeling of "me" looking out from behind the eyes. Usually when we look at some object there is a clear direction from behind the eyes and outwards. Notice this clerly. Then trace back along the opposite direction, all the way back to the "root" of seeing, the perceived "seer" in the space behind the eyes. Is there anybody in there? Anything solid? Let me know how it goes. 

Chris: Last night's meditation I was a little tired, but sinking into the I-less mode felt a bit more natural. As I relaxed into the body, there were times when the body felt very large, like it was taking up all the space in my awareness. That was interesting. 

Karl: Sounds good, keep relaxing into it without expectations. 

Chris: This morning, I had a little more trouble with monkey mind; thoughts coming up unrelated to the meditation. I dealt with these with a few 'ha's and 'ho's. Very little sensation coming up in response to the affirmations, so it was hard to investigate. Sometimes when this happens I've been asking, "Who is it that's frustrated?" and that brings me back to the feeling of 'I.' 

Karl: It seems to be a pattern that after very clear experiences like the ones you describe from the night before, the mind will get stirred and become more unruly. Nothing to worry about, just keep cutting through. 

Chris: I have tried the technique of looking behind the eyes, and it's interesting... again, there is just kind of the visual field (or darkness, if I have my eyes closed) and hearing. It feels like there is just a sense of 'presence' back there, but the presence still feels kind of centered in my head. There are very few thoughts when I put my attention there, but it seems to take effort... after a few seconds the seeing process goes back to normal. Maybe I am crossing my eyes a bit too when I do this? It's hard to describe.

Karl: Right. Did you try it with eyes open? I think this technique is easier if you have them open rather than closed. The idea is to see whether there is really something solid there looking out onto the «world» from behind the eyes. I know the feeling of crossing your eyes, but that is not necessary. You trace the direction of seeing back and look at «seer» with you attention rather than your physical eyes. 

Chris: Yes, I have tried this multiple times with my eyes open now... I cannot find anything solid. There is just seeing, hearing, and also a nebulous cloud of physical body sensations. If I repeat I, I, I, while paying attention to this space, it is just a sound. There is a feeling of presence, or of looking from a certain perspective--maybe the sense of self that remains to me is just an optical illusion caused by the position of the eyes in the head/on the body? Or the aggregation of seeing, hearing, and feeling so that it seems like it's all happening in one place? But that is already too theoretical.

My two most recent sits, last night and this morning, I have felt quite sleepy. In the I-less mode, I can sink into the body sensations and being in the moment. I noticed that when the body is aware of itself, hearing feels effortless, too, and I am just kind of letting the moment happen. The I-based mode is not so clear. Sometimes there are mild physical sensations (between the eyes), sometimes there is almost nothing, so that repeating 'I' feels like just making a sound with my mouth and throat, kind of a futile gesture and a little funny or ridiculous.

Karl: Could you take another picture of your face and send it along with the "before" picture so I can have a look at where we are at? Your comment that the "I" is just a sound makes me wonder if awakening might have happened. Is there anything that "sticks" so to speak when doing affirmations? 

Chris: Here you go.

*Photos not published in accordance with the wishes of the participant*

Karl:  I suggest that you take a break from the 2PF and relax for a few days. Notice how you feel in general, meeting other people, doing everyday activities. I’ll message you in a few days to see how you’re doing. OK?

Chris: That sounds like a good idea.

This morning, in my meditation, there was almost nothing that came up in response to the affirmations- it feels like the meaning of the words I, me, and mine has worn out and there is a vague sense that I can't tell who they are referring to. But I wonder if it's just from repeating them so many times, as in Titchener's repetition? When I asked, "Where am I?" and felt into it, there was some pulsing and tingling at the point between the eyes. But it feels more like 'I' am behind that, in the space of the head and the whole body, as a kind of field of sensation. When I look into that though, there is nothing really solid there, no 'self' that I can find, at least as far as I can tell.

However, off of the meditation cushion, I seem to feel normal. I will take a break from the 2PF and let you know how the weekend goes.

Karl: Sorry it took me a while longer than planned to get back to you. How are you doing? How did you feel not doing the 2PF? And have you tried the method again since taking a break? 

Chris: No problem. Thanks for writing back. I've had two weekend days and three workdays to explore and evaluate. Something does feel different. Ever since Friday (at least)... it's difficult to describe, but it feels like the pressure is off. There is a kind of ease. I don't have the pressure to be or do anything in particular. I do still have plenty of thoughts, including self-oriented thoughts, but they don't have the same pull for me--they feel like just a habit playing itself out. I have even had feelings of anxiety in my body (on Monday, we went back to the office after 2.5 months working from home) but they don't bother me as much as usual. Meeting and interacting with people feels quite easy.

I had not meditated since Friday. This morning I did sit for 30 minutes, but not with the 2PF, just sitting and doing nothing. I did notice some energetic activity around my ajna/third eye point during the sit.

Throughout this time, I have had a lot of thoughts like, "Wow, is this really it? Has something really changed? I can't quite put my finger on it." It seems possible that awakening has taken place. At the same time, I do not want to call the game prematurely if I haven't quite got it or if there is still more work to be done with the 2PF. My experience seems similar to some of the stories in the Awake! book, but also lacking some of the fireworks or romance of some of the other stories. Anyway, the truth is more important to me than clinging to any particular state or stage. I am grateful to you for the guidance so far and curious to hear what you think.

Karl: Good. Try the 2PF and let me know how it goes.

Chris: I have tried the 2PF again the last two mornings. In response to the affirmations, there either seems to be no response or some minor energetic activity around the ajna chakra. There is no real sense of tension, discomfort, or stuckness that I can discern. Should I keep practicing the 2PF or leave it alone, at this point?

My everyday life continues to feel oddly problem-free. There is a sense of lightness. However, I do notice that my verbal mind is chattering away as much as before (though the thoughts don't have the same kind of emotional pull, perhaps).

Karl: Yes. It was already evident from your photos that awakening had taken place, though as a policy I don't verify awakening unless the person recognises it themselves. Your description is classic in that it is not something "new" but just something dropping away. That's it. That is awakening. 

As for the remaining existential confusion, in Pemako Buddhism we divide the "selfing mechanism", the identification with passing forms, into three parts: (1) the subject self; the "I", (2) object selves; self-based thoughts, emotions and feelings, and (3) substrate conciousnes; sublte states of dullness of mind. As you have awakened to the truth of the emptiness of the first of these, the path forward will be focused on realisation the empty nature of the rest

If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to ask me.

Chris: That is great news! Haha.

Karl: Yes, it is indeed good news.

Chris: Thank you. I truly appreciate your help in my awakening process. The change feels subtle but significant. I feel like a thorn has been removed from my foot--but one that's been there my whole life.

Karl: You are very welcome. It is wonderful to be in a position able to help other people with this problem of problems. Besides, you were very easy to work with as you did most of the job yourself. Cheers!

*

Relevant links:

Awake! Handbook of Awakening (free pdf)

Guidance to Awakening, offered by Pemako Buddhist teachers

*

Pemako Buddhism, www.pemakobuddhism.com

Why awaken? How does awakening make Dzogchen & Mahamudra practice easier? by Ugi Muller

Why awaken? How does awakening make Dzogchen Atiyoga & Mahamudra practice easier?

By Ugi Muller

Imagine that you are in a big garden full of all kinds of plants, trees and animals. To many of these plants and animals you have a fearful and hostile attitude. You want to keep them away from you. On the other hand, many of these plants you like a lot and want to keep them close, even possess them. Now you heard of the Buddha’s nondual teachings and want to attain Buddhahood in this life time. You know that this entails one job only: looking directly at every plant, every animal and everything in the garden to see their true nature.

That’s a very challenging job. It means that you have to face all the plants and animals you always wanted to keep away from. And it means to let go of all your beloved ideas about the plants and animals you like. You’ll have to completely drop every point of reference and orientation you’ve ever had.

That’s the gardener’s Dzogchen Atiyoga and Mahamudra practice. Very challenging, it’s asking all of you.

Now as if this wasn’t challenging enough, there’s another obstacle you’re confronted with. You are bound to a strong pole in the middle of the garden by rubber bands. Wherever you try to go, it always immediately pulls you back to that pole. As if it is magnetic. This is actually so normal for you that you take it as a law of nature like the gravity that keeps your feet to the ground.

Without any awareness of your attachment to the pole you just don’t get far with your practice. Whenever you try to walk up to and look into the nature of a plant or animal, the rubber bands draw you back to the pole, making it very hard to even get a proper look at what’s there to be looked at. It makes this already challenging task of direct looking a 100 times more strenuous. You spend 95% of your practice time struggling against the rubber bands and maybe just 5% directly looking. And you don’t even know that it’s happening!

Now fortunately you see someone walking through the garden and he lets you know that you’re tied to a pole. You look down your body and for the first time you see it. “What the duck, all this time I’ve spent being tied to this pole and strained my ass doing anything, thinking that life is just this hard.” You see that being tied to this pole is not necessary or natural at all! And within no time you remove all the rubber bands from your body. You can’t believe that you actually thought being tied to this pole was part of your being.

Now you are able to walk freely through the garden and follow through with your challenging practice of looking at the true nature of all the plants and animals, the ones feared aswell as the ones hoped for. Finally, you are able to give a 100% of your focus to the practice itself and not to the struggle to even get there.

So what does this garden story have to do with awakening and Dzogchen/Mahamudra? Awakening is realising that there is a pole in your mind that you thought yourself attached to. And letting go of it. This pole is the subject consciousness, the more or less constant energetic impression of being a personal self which is located behind your eyes. It’s a strict filter that frames all our sense consciousnesses in a dualistic and personal way. It renders all experience around a poor me and makes pretty much a huge anxious drag out of everything.

Not seeing this subject self at work makes Dzogchen/Mahamudra practices extremely and especially unnecessarily difficult. Being awakened to this subject’s non-existence on the other hand makes an effective and fast Dzogchen/Mahamudra practice possible. You just can get to the task directly without the drag of personal drama. And it’s much more fun this way …

If that sounds appealing to you, I highly recommend to you to look into the Two-Part Formula of Pemako Buddhism. It’s a proven and very quick way to achieve awakening and to spare you years, decades or even life times of unnecessary struggle.

You can find the Two-Part Formula in this free ebook together with many real people’s accounts of awakening and losing their pole:

https://www.pemakobuddhism.com/114
May all beings be free!
Ugi, teacher in training

Lama Karl Eikrem: Alternative Approach to a Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit

Alternative Approach to a

Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit

By: Lama Karl Eikrem 

In today's society, there is no shortage of approaches to improve the health of one's mind, body and spirit. Regularly, we are presented with techniques and programs to reach our full potential; special diets, health programs, psychological tools, motivational exercises, the list goes on. Many of these tools have great benefit, but looking at the present condition of our society, the question remains: do they address the core issue of human dis-ease? 

Authentic spiritual practice aims not so much at improving our relative condition, but takes a step back and invites us to study ourselves as we truly are. This is because the root problem of our discontentment is not that we are unhealthy or stressed, that we don't work out enough, or eat a healthy diet, it is not that are unhappy or dissatisfied with our lives. Rather, the reason is that we do not know the nature of ourselves, the nature of being. How can we possibly find true contentment if we do not know ourselves? 

At the centre of this existential confusion lies the belief in a separate sense of self, in an entity cut off from the external world. If you ask somebody where their sense of self is located, they will probably point to their body, more specifically their head. But is there anything solid in there? Is there some unchanging entity within ourselves, to which we can attach the label "me"? 

This question is the starting point on the path to a truly healthy body, mind and spirit. 

If we start looking closely into this matter, we'll soon come to the realisation that there is no such thing as an "I" to be experienced anywhere. Nevertheless, if left uninvestigated, this basic sense of “me” will continue to attach itself to thoughts and emotions, reinforcing itself through a network of self-based beliefs and opinions; political views, occupation, status, wealth, achievements and so on, all labelled as "mine". 

Because the illusory nature of "I" is dependent on more and more things to identify with, merely trying to improve ourselves, without getting to know ourselves, will not lead to lasting contentment. 

Pemako Buddhism offers high-precision meditative tools to investigate both the notion of "me", leading to what is labelled "awakening"; the permanent dropping off of the notion of self, as well for purifying the reaction patterns, emotional traumas and mental filters that hinder us in experiencing the world directly, as it really is. 

By deconstructing the conceptual beliefs about ourselves, others and the world in general, certain qualities start revealing themselves to us. Equanimity, joy, love and compassion start becoming a part of our everyday lives. Indeed, as we progress on the path of releasing mental and physical tensions, we come to realise that these qualities were never separate from us in the first place. Instead of confining ourselves to "I", "me" and "mine", we realise that we are in fact the brilliant clarity of selfless awareness itself. Thus knowing ourselves is indeed the true meaning of a healthy mind, body and spirit. 

May all beings be free! 

Pemako Buddhism Website: www.pemakobuddhism.com

Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo: First Breakthrough

Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo:

First Breakthrough

”The initial realization of the nature of the mind is the first breakthrough. It’s a very important point in all Buddhist schools. At that moment, you cease to be an ordinary person. You become in Buddhist parlance an arya, a noble one. It doesn’t mean you are finished. It doesn’t mean you are a high level bodhisattva. We can fall back from this. But still, this is a big breakthrough. We now understand what is true and what is not true. We don’t have to take it all on faith any more. It is a direct nondual experience. The point is that it is very easy. It’s not difficult, and it’s not something that can only be attained after years and years of practice.”*

”It would be nice if someone would come along and find a method by which people could awaken. Even the Buddha couldn't do that.”**

”I rejoice that Kim is enabling so many practitioners to get awakened in such an approachable manner. May the Dharma flourish for the benefit of all beings!”***

See also: Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo and Kim Katami: About Awakening

*Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo, Reflections on a Mountain Lake, p. 191

**Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo (source)

**Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo (source)

Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo

Emptiness Meditation by Daniel P. Brown

Emptiness Meditation

by Daniel P. Brown

Author of the book Pointing out the Great Way

”Now bring to mind your usual sense of self, your personal identity. You can evoke this and use it as an object of reflection. For example I would evoke Dan, Danness, and look squarely at Danness. The thing about self-presentation is that you can evoke it and you can observe it... So evoke your sense of self and observe it. Notice any personal characteristics you associate with that sense of self. Familiarise yourself with the target of your search... And now take your awareness... And let your awareness roam thought the regions of your body. See if you can find any thing in itself, any independently existing thing that is that personal identity, anywhere in the field of bodily experience. You have to actively search... And the more you search anything independently existing, any thing in itself, the more what you search for will be seen from your awareness as unfindable. Emptiness practice... is in the unfindability of the target... If you think you find the independent basis for that sense of self, if you find any thing that's substantial, roam around in that area and break it down to smaller units of analysis... OK, now evoke your sense of self, your personal identity once again... Familiarize yourself with the target of the search. Evoke your personal identity and notice any personal characteristics you associate with that sense of self... Now, take your awareness and let it roam through mental content. Do you find any independently existing thing that is that self?... As you continue to search at some point there is a shift in your basis of operation. What remains right here is the awareness itself, no longer obscured by the empty construction of the personal identity. You open up to the level of awareness that is cleaned up of the cloud of self. And you start operating from that instead of operating out of self-mode.”

The recording can be found from this page, under: ”Meditation on Insight Training or ”Emptiness”.

Christian's Awakening

Christian's Awakening

Christian:

Hello Kim.

I am 32 years old. I have been trying to figure out the I illusion for at least 15 years. Never went past an intellectual understanding, though. As suffering increased and drove me almost to suicide I eventually started to meditate I think 2-3 years ago. Breath meditation (The Mind Illuminated), one Goenka retreat and Finders Course by Jeffrey Martin (18 weeks all sorts of practices like self-inquiry, noting, mantra, body scan etc.). At times I sat for 4 hours or more a day and although I saw positive changes (e.g. becoming able to rest in awareness for periods), suffering continued. So much that I started to lose hope in this whole spirituality business. Then I found your 2PF and for the first time in my life there is a big decrease in suffering! I can't say how grateful I am for what you are doing.

I have read through your book Awake! and practiced your Two-Part Formula (2PF) for 3 or 4 days. Yesterday evening I had a subtle shift and ever since then, no matter how often I say I, I, I, Me, Me, Me, it doesn’t bring up this sense of me anymore. Before that shift this special sense of “Christian” behind the eyes came up pretty much immeditately. Now it just doesn’t attach to anything and “I” immediately go back to this simple, clear space.

This change is so subtle and there are still a lot of self-referential thoughts coming up, though. Like “I am soo happy that there finally was a shift”, but if I inquire “who or what is this I that is happy?” nothing comes up anymore.

I don’t really feel special or one with everything either. There is still this impression that here is someone who is experiencing everything, but when I take a look or inquire then no sense of me comes up anymore.

Has awakening happened for me? Should I write a bit more about the shift, or the changes before and after? Should I perhaps send you a photo? Or should I simply give it more time? I would really appreciate your feedback!

Best regards.

Kim:

Hi Christian.

Wait until tomorrow to get a little more taste of it. I am quite sure this is it, as you make it clear that it doesn't stick and that there has been a change . Tomorrow, write me a description of the change and include a photo for analysis. It would be nice to read a litte narration of your path/search up until this point, how you found 2PF, what practices you did before, with some interesting details etc.

Christian:

I'm very busy with work right now, so I'll just briefly describe the change and I also have attached a picture of me from today.

After a couple of days with the 2PF I was able to observe the I and bring up this distinct feeling of a "me behind the eyes" very easily.

Two days ago, during my evening meditation a shift occured and ever since then, no matter how hard I try, I cannot bring up this feeling of me anymore. The funny thing is, now after only a couple of days I cannot even remember what this "me behind the eyes" felt like.

Everything has become calmer, clearer, more relaxed. The shift was so subtle, yet the two days since the shift have been just amazing. I am filled with so much gratitude right now...

Still, as I already mentioned yesterday, there are a lot of self-referential thoughts. My mind is actually quite active. And there is also no feeling of oneness. It still kind of feels like there is someone experiencing all of this. This feeling only stays for a few seconds at most, though. And as I said, when I look for a separate self, there is only clear, ordinary space.

Perhaps this is just a case of wrong expectations?

Anyway, I can't wait for your feedback! If this really was awakening, then I'll gladly write more about my path, former practices etc.

Kim:

Yes, that's it. Simple as that. Congrats!

It varies greatly how easily "me behind the eyes" dissolves. Some people are at it for weeks, some for half an hour. Nevertheless, the result is the same, what in Open Heart we call opening of the 1st bhumi.

>My mind is actually quite active. And there is also no feeling of oneness. It still kind of feels like there is someone experiencing all of this.

The mind can be active, thoughts and emotions, but the experience of them is noticeably different, as you can see, because the I that they attach to, is gone. Yup, no oneness, haha. I don't know if you are familiar with buddhism but this is what selflessness or emptiness means. With awakening, or insight meditation, one begins to see and experience this selfless, me-less, mind. Everyone has it but it goes unnoticed because the habit patterns are so strong. That last sentence, "kind of feels like there is someone experiencing all of this". Now that the small self, to a degree, has been deconstructed, the real self, without an entity, comes about. If you feel into it, can you see how it has been there all along? That, this me-less mind is actually the real you? In dzogchen teachings, we say that awareness cognizes itself, that it is self-cognizant. There is no "me" doing it but our basic awareness, see, feels, thinks and so on. It is not impersonal but very personal, the way I see it.

Congrats again.